The Psycho Returns
by 00Lita00
Summary: Takes place after Rapist Anonymous and Psycho/Therapist. William Lewis escapes. Amanda has trouble with her gambling. Can Olivia and Amanda get through it or will this tear them apart? I fail at summaries, but am hoping the story is good. **I own nothing. All rights belong to Dick Wolf, NBC and anyone else associated with/owning Law & Order: SVU**
1. Chapter 1

**Amanda and Olivia have been dating for 6 months...  
**

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Amanda came stumbling in the door at 2am reeking of cigarettes and alcohol. Olivia noticed right away as she had been up waiting and worrying about her girlfriend when she didn't call after work like promised. Amanda didn't bother turning the lights on as she knew her apartment well. Throwing her jacket on the back of the chair she headed toward the couch to sleep. Once her boots were off she grabbed the blanket off the floor lying down onto the couch.

"What the hell?!" She shrieked grabbing for her gun when she realized someone else was there

"Hey, it's just me Olivia, don't shoot." She said turning on the lamp. "I got worried when you didn't call. That's why I waited up. Why were you going to sleep on the couch?"

"I went out to get a couple drinks after everything went down with that murder case I was involved in." Amanda explained. "I knew you had the early shift so I didn't wanna wake you getting in so late."

Olivia nodded. "Well, I called Fin, he said you were going to a meeting and denied drinks with him. So, I called Nick and switched shifts with him since I didn't know what was going on with you. You had me worried."

"I'm sorry." Amanda whispered lowering her head to hide the tears threatening to fall from lying about her night. Olivia wrapped her into a hug and kissed the top of her forehead. She knew the blonde wasn't being completely honest but didn't have the energy to argue with her. She got up taking Amanda's hand leading her to the bedroom. They slipped into bed snuggling up to one another before drifting off to sleep.

For Olivia, it was a sleepless night even with Amanda by her side. She had nightmares of the upcoming trial with Lewis and having to relive it all again. She woke up screaming, forgetting where she was for a minute. Amanda was quick to wake up. She wrapped her arms around Olivia holding her tight while reassuring her all would be okay. Brown eyes met blue, and she slowly started to relax. They layed back down, but neither went back to sleep.

The duo walked into the precinct around 11 the next day. Lucky for them the boys had been called out already. There wouldn't be any questions for awhile. "Mornin' ladies" Fin said walking in. "Rough night?" Neither of the women responded since they were too caught up in their thoughts. Fin shrugged it off figuring Olivia was thinking of the trial, but knew something was up with Amanda when she didn't respond. He sat on the chair next to her desk trying to get her attention.

"I'm kinda busy…. What do you want Fin?" Amanda asked angrily.

"Just seeing how you were. You're quiet, I just wanted to check in is all."

"I'm fine." She snapped. "Can I get back to work please?" Fin nodded and made his way to his desk. Olivia noticed the heated exchange of words making a mental note to talk to Amanda later. It was a slow day of just paperwork leaving the two ladies to their thoughts. Amanda felt guilty for not being honest with her girlfriend. She just couldn't stand the look of disappointment and the conversation that would go with it. Olivia was busy thinking of the next day, her trial and how to bring up what she knew about Amanda without a big scene. Fin was worried about both his girls. Knowing the trial was eating up Liv. He just wished he could decipher what was going on with his partner. Amaro was typing away completely oblivious to everything. He just wanted to get home to his daughter Zara. The captain snapped them all out of their minds coming out of his office. "We have a case. Fin, Rollins go to the scene. Benson, Amaro go interview the victim at the hospital." They all grabbed their coats heading out.

"So, you wanna tell me what's up Rollins?" Fin asked once they got in the car. She shook her head, staring out the window. She thought back to the night before.

"_Want to go get a drink?" Fin asks_

"_Rain check? I need to go to a meeting" Fin nodded then she walked off. Walking into the casino, sitting down at the black jack table she placed a bet. _

"_13" the dealer said. "Hit me" she responds "16"… "Hit me." Bust._

"_You're out of chips you can either buy more or leave." Lighting another cigarette she leaves waiting for a cab to go home._

"We're here" Fin says bringing her back to reality. They exit and start talking to the neighbors and the witnesses standing around. None of the information was very helpful. A medium sized white guy with sunglasses and a hat was the best description they were going to get.

At the hospital, Olivia and Nick were trying to get Amy, the victim to open up about the man who attacked her. She didn't remember much, but some of the details gave Liv a few flashbacks to her night with Lewis. She left her card, thanked her and quickly left. It was too much for her. When all were back at the precinct and had briefed their captain, he sent them home so they could get a fresh start in the morning after court. "Hey, you okay?" Amanda asked Olivia pulling her into a hug.

"Yeah, I'll be okay. Our vic's statement gave me a few flashbacks. I don't think I handled it too well." She responded as she started relaxing in the blonde's arms.

"Come on, let's go home."

Once at home, they sit down on the couch. Olivia is the first to speak. "Amanda, why is it so hard for you to tell me what's going on? I thought we agreed no more secrets. I feel you are hiding something from last night. I believe you, but you left something out didn't you?" Amanda started fidgeting with her hands before nodding. She took a few moments to try and figure out how to say it.

"I... I didn't want to admit I was at a... a casino. I know I screwed up bad. I lost $200 at the blackjack table. I couldn't tell you. I was guilty, ashamed and did not wanna put any more stress on you. I-I'm sorry." she sobbed.

"You could have told me. You know I'll help you with whatever you need. And after tomorrow, I should be fine." She responded. They sat up talking for another hour before calling it a night. Olivia had a big day the next morning.

They pulled up to the courthouse at 8:30, greeted by Fin, Amaro and the Captain. They made small talk while waiting for court to start against Barba's better judgment. It seemed to drag on, twenty minutes in felt like hours. No one expected Lewis to be his own attorney; everyone was thrown for a loop. Amaro was first on the stand. He answered the questions the best he could trying to be objective. Fin was next; he was questioned on possibly setting up the evidence and tampering with the crime scene. It was far from the truth, he didn't tamper with anything. Amanda was next. He accused her of holding a grudge since he was let off after she arrested him for no reason and she could have rigged the evidence. She said no she touched nothing in the apartment. He brought up her recent case. Lewis also tried to prove she was blinded by love. Which she denied. How did he find out anyway is what she wanted to know. No one knew but her and Olivia. The captain was even called as a witness. He said he'd forced Olivia to take time off because he thought the case was a bit hard for her. No one felt they did Olivia any justice and everything was made worse. "We failed Olivia." Fin mumbled walking out the door. They all nodded in agreement. After the 30 minute recess it'd be Olivia's turn to take the stand. Amanda feared it would break her down good. She only hoped the jury would see the case for what it was. Lewis was a liar and manipulated the system. Olivia excused herself and made her way to the ladies room. Amanda waited a minute or two before following as not to look suspicious.

"Hey…" Amanda whispered walking in on Olivia who was at the sink. "You got this, don't worry. He's going away for life this time."

"I hope so Manda, I really want this over." They shared a kiss then Olivia made her way to the table while Amanda went outside for some air. Nick asked about Amanda, but Liv swore she never seen her.

"I hope she's good." Fin muttered before taking a big chunk out of his sandwich.

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Olivia got up on the stand and told her story. She answered all the questions Barba threw at her with ease. She got nervous when Lewis stood up though. He badgered her, tried to get her to break down and even get angry once. For a split second, she almost broke, but kept it together repeating that she only hit him until he was subdued. When the jury stated their verdict, William Lewis was only charged for the two lesser crimes filed against him. Barba was going to throw the book at him during sentencing to get him maximum time. Everyone congratulated Liv on a job well done during her testimony. She asked to have a minute before they went back to the precinct. She sat in the stairwell and finally let the tears fall. Maybe this nightmare was finally over.

Over the next few weeks, Amanda helped Olivia get through some of the damage the trial caused. It was a slow process with nightmares still popping up here and there. But she was becoming the Olivia they used to know, brave and fearless. They caught the man who had hurt Amy. It turns out it was Nate, the man who got Amanda mixed up in a murder. That entire trial/case worked her up causing her to lose all she worked for by going to gamble that night. Nate wasn't even sent to jail since the charges didn't stick when Amy backed out. Even though it was awhile ago, it was still fresh in her mind. She hurt Olivia by lying to her. During the time though, Amanda slipped up a few times by going back to the casino. The one time she attempted it, she was busted by her girlfriend who followed her after work. Amanda said the word "Hit me" to the black jack dealer right before getting smacked in the back of the head by a very annoyed Olivia. "You said you were done Amanda." Liv scolded dragging her out of the casino then drove her straight to a meeting. "I don't know why you let this guy get to you so much." Olivia said once they returned to the apartment.

Soon four months had passed with both doing good. No more lies and sneaking off to casinos for Amanda. As for Olivia her therapy sessions were done which included no more nightmares. Things were once again normal. That was until 10pm on a Wednesday night when Liv's phone went off. She picked it up putting it on speaker as it was the captain. He sounded different, almost panicked.

"Liv, I just wanted to call and let you know William Lewis has escaped prison. He used a seizure as his cover so when they rushed him for treatment, he attacked the doctor then killed the guard. He also took the officer's gun. You shouldn't be alone."

"I'll go to Amanda's. Her place is the closest. I'll let you know when I get there." With that she hung up and threw her phone against the wall. All Amanda could do was hold her when she collapsed into her arms.

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**A/N: Not sure it reads as good as I thought... Should I abandon this now or keep going?  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I fixed chapter 2. Hope it's a little better than the other. Now that I have internet again, chapters should be pretty regular. Enjoy :)**

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All Amanda could do was hold her when she collapsed into her arms.

Olivia cried herself to sleep. Amanda carefully laid her down on the bed and threw a blanket over her before going out to find her phone. She picked it up to dial the captain when she heard banging on her door. "Amanda, its Fin and the Captain. Open up!" her partner yelled from the other side. She let out the breath she'd been holding and unlocked the door. Once inside, Fin started hounding her with questions. Had Olivia shown up yet, was she okay? Why hadn't anyone called and so on. As fast as he was talking Amanda couldn't keep up. Cragen cut him off halfway through his questions telling him to let her breathe. Then he asked her to tell him everything she knew after he had contacted Olivia. Not wanting to lie anymore she admitted Olivia had already been over when he called.

"She just broke Cap, eventually she cried herself to sleep. She's been sleeping for maybe 15 minutes." Amanda explained. "I just picked up my phone to call after getting her sorted when you almost broke my door down." She looked at Fin.

"Sorry." Fin apologized. "We were just worried is all. I better call Nick and tell him we found you guys."

Amaro showed up shortly after Fin had called him making himself comfortable in the living room. Amanda brought in some homemade ice tea to sip on while figuring out how to keep Olivia safe. Everyone fell silent. "Does anyone have any ideas?" Cragen spoke causing everyone in the room to jump at the sound of his voice.

"She can't be at home." Amanda replied. "She can always stay here. Since my gambling is over I am always here except for work. And Frannie is here all day when I'm gone."

Cragen nodded agreeing with her offer. He also brought up the possibility of sending Liv into protective custody until Lewis was out of the picture, but Fin shot that one down. She would never agree to that. Olivia wasn't the type to hide from things no matter how frightened she was. "I'm gonna check on Liv." Amanda said getting up making her way to the bedroom where Frannie and Olivia were sleeping. She'd left her dog at her girlfriend's side so she wouldn't be alone. To her surprise, Olivia was sitting up in the bed with the dog on her lap. "Hey…" Amanda whispered sitting on the edge of the bed. "You doin' alright?"

"I've been better" Olivia answered with a forced smile. "Why is everyone here?"

"They were worried about you. We forgot to call them back and let them know you were safe. The captain and Fin got here first. Nick was driving the streets of New York looking for you while they came here. It's fine. I told them you were sleeping." Amanda reached over bringing her girlfriend into a hug. "You wanna stay in here?" she asked quietly. Olivia shook her head no asking for a few minutes to make herself look a little better.

When Amanda returned to the couch, all eyes were on her. She felt a little out of place at first then realized they were waiting on her to speak. She reassured them their senior detective was fine and she'd be out in a couple minutes. _'It's going to be a long night'_ Amanda thought to herself.

Olivia finally emerged from the bedroom. Her eyes showed no emotions, she was numb. Nick was the first to speak. "Liv, are you going to be okay?" She nodded her response knowing if she tried to speak she might just break down in front of everyone. Amanda came back in from the kitchen handing her girlfriend a bottle of water. She gave her a small smile before sitting next to her giving her arm a little squeeze telling her things would be fine. Olivia returned the smile before looking back at her team asking the obvious question. How are we going to do this?

"Well, for starters, you can't stay at your apartment Liv." Cragen responded not knowing Olivia had given that apartment up months ago.

"I can stay with Amanda if she'll have me." She looked over at the blonde who smiled and nodded.

"Since that is settled, we can move on and take steps to ensure Benson's safety." Cragen announced wondering how the two could be on the same wavelength when they didn't even like each other to start with. "I'm going to set rules as well. We will do this as close to the book as we can. I want NO unnecessary risks taken."

They all gave their agreement when Cragen was finished. He just wasn't sure how serious his detectives were being. They'd gone rogue bending the rules for him one time for a murder charge landing him in prison. Fin had gone off on his own little mission with the others on an unauthorized sting for Amanda when she was gambling and got injured. He didn't want to think what they could come up with when it came to William Lewis. Cragen said his goodbyes letting them know he would call when all was set up and the precautions they would be taking. Amaro and Fin hung out a bit longer making sure things were good until Amanda had enough. She shoved them out the door then took Olivia back to bed hoping she could get the brunette to sleep more than an hour. They lay awake talking about everything that just happened.

"Come on Liv, you're gonna have to sleep at some point. You'll be safe, I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere." Amanda said trying to convince Olivia to at least try and sleep. Even an hour would be better than nothing.

"I'm trying." She responded curling into Amanda even more. She soon closed her eyes and started drifting to sleep. Amanda was too wired to sleep though; she was beginning to doubt herself on how well she could protect her girlfriend. She got up to go find her phone putting Frannie in her spot next to Olivia. While staring at her phone debating on calling a bet in it went off.

"Rollins." She answered.

"It's Cragen. I wanted to see if you would mind coming to the station for an hour or two. We've got a victim, I need you and Fin to check out. I'll send Amaro to sit with Liv if that's okay."

"Yeah. I'll be on my way as soon as Nick shows up." Amanda responded putting the phone down. She wondered how Olivia would feel when she woke up and Nick was there instead. _'I said I wouldn't leave her but I can't tell her where I'm going either.'_ The thoughts didn't get much further when she heard her buzzer signaling Nick's arrival. He gave her a warm smile before stepping in. Amanda showed him where everything was that he may need while she was gone. He promised he wouldn't tell Olivia where she went if she were to wake up before he got back. It would take work but he'd think of something. Amanda rushed out the door hoping the sooner she left the quicker she'd get home.

Fin picked her up outside the apartment and drove them to the address of the crime scene. Once they arrived, it took Amanda a few minutes to get herself together enough to cross the police tape. No one could prepare either detective for what they found inside. The apartment was trashed. Two knocked over vodka bottles were on the floor. To the right was a tipped chair with bloody ropes near it, partially smoked cigarettes in a small bowl and the entire apartment smelled like burned skin and flesh. Walking back to the bedroom the smell of iron hit their noses. Amanda let out a loud gasp when she saw the victim who was tied to the bed. Brown hair, brown eyes and a similar build to her girlfriend. All Fin could do was stare, if he didn't know any better he'd swear it was Olivia. They broke out of their trance as soon as they heard the M.E Melinda Warner coming down the hall. She kicked them out of the area telling them to talk to neighbors and anyone who may have heard something so she could do her job. The last thing Melinda wanted was a crime scene with tampered evidence. This guy was going away for life this time when he was caught.

Back at the apartment, Olivia woke up from a startling nightmare. She reached over for Amanda but only felt Frannie. It's not that she didn't like the dog; she just wanted her girlfriend to hold her. She glanced at the bedroom door which was partly open and saw a male figure walk by. Panic struck through her body. Olivia grabbed her gun slowly making her way to the door. Carefully opening it she took the safety off pointing it toward the kitchen where the figure went. Nick turned around as Olivia put her finger on the trigger pointing it at him.

"Don't Shoot! It's Amaro, your partner." Nick yelled as he got on his knees putting his hands up in the air.

"Oh my God! Nick, I'm so sorry." Olivia apologized lowering her gun seeing the fear in his eyes. For a small second he thought she was actually going to shoot him.

"It's fine, j-just put the gun down…... Amanda had to run out for a minute she shouldn't be long." Nick reassured her getting up from the kitchen floor.

He was still a little shaky as he made his way to the couch to sit down. Olivia sat down on the opposite side of the room. Neither said anything which left an awkward silence.

Leaving the scene Amanda couldn't shake the victim out of her head. The neighbors couldn't tell her anything so video surveillance would be there only break if it caught anything. The victim reminded her so much of Olivia. The drive back to the precinct was a quiet one. Fin tried to strike up a conversation, but his partner just stared out the window ignoring him. They briefed the Captain on the crime scene and let him know they were waiting on Melinda's report. As for security tapes, they should be ready when they all returned. Amanda kept spacing off during the conversation. The images would not get out of her head. The concerned looks her partner and Captain were giving her got to be too much. She said goodbye as she walked out the door. Cragen gave Fin a questioning look who in return responded that the female victim looked a lot like Olivia. He was reassured by Fin she was good and was probably just going home to kick Amaro out so she could sleep. Amanda had other ideas though. She sent a text to Nick letting him know she'd be home within the hour before making her way to the casino. She didn't want to go home all worked up with Olivia in such a sensitive state. The only thing she thought of to release the adrenaline was some black jack. For once she didn't lose any money, she broke even. _'Maybe my luck is changing'_ Amanda thought waiting for the subway to take her home.

Nick seemed ecstatic when Amanda walked through the door. He gave her a hug, told her Olivia was in bed then ran out the door. It seemed he couldn't get out fast enough. What she didn't know is that he was still a little traumatized after almost being shot by his partner with that look in her eyes. Frannie snuck out of the bedroom to greet her mistress. Not knowing if her girlfriend was asleep she quickly changed in the living room before quietly making her way to the bedroom. "Where have you been?" Olivia asked. It startled Amanda who stepped backwards falling over her dog.

"Cragen called and asked me to come in for a bit on a case." She replied still sitting on the floor rubbing her back. Olivia jumped out of the bed rushing to Amanda's side. The last thing she wanted was for her beautiful blonde girlfriend to be hurt.

"Are you okay Manda?" She asked desperately. Her response was a nod. She helped Amanda off the floor and they both crawled back into bed to try to get the remaining two hours of sleep they had left.

The next morning they walked into the precinct glad to be the first two who arrived. Neither were really awake or talkative. Olivia picked up a folder to look at it, but never made it past the first sentence, the words blurred together. Amanda would need two more coffees in order to be able to play well with others. Unfortunately she would not be that lucky as Fin came in to tell her they had results from the murder earlier that morning. She grumbled something under her breath as she got up. _'It's gonna be a long day' _Fin said to himself getting into the elevator. Nick came in with the security tapes and plopped down at his desk to review them. His good morning to his partner was just a nod.

"Liv, I need to see you in my office for a minute please." Cragen ordered as he passed her to his office.

Olivia stood up trying to figure out what was going on. Did it have to do with her almost shooting Amaro? Or maybe something good came up from the Lewis case. Whatever it was, why was she being called into the office? "Is everything okay Cap?" She asked.

"Sit down." She did. "I wanted to apologize for last night. Amaro talked to me about the incident that happened at Amanda's. William Lewis killed a woman last night. I had Rollins go with Fin to check it out. I didn't want to upset you so I advised them not to tell you."

Olivia nodded, thanked him for his apology, and then went straight to the bunks to have a minute. She immediately pulled out her phone sending a text to both Amanda and Fin. She couldn't understand why they wouldn't let her in on her own case. They've never hid cases from one another. So, why start now?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** **I revised ch.2. For those who read it when I first posted it, go back and re-read or you might not understand this one. Also, now that my internet is back, chapters should be up a lot sooner than this one was. **

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She couldn't understand why they wouldn't let her in on her own case. They've never hid cases from one another. So, why start now?

Amanda and Fin checked their phones while waiting on Melinda to get her report together for them. They both shared the same shocked expression when reading their texts from Olivia. She wanted to know why Fin was hiding things from her about the case. Also, it accused him of not trusting her to control her emotions when it came to Lewis. Amanda's text stated that Olivia was really disappointed with her for hiding things again and that she should trust Olivia to keep a level head while having her back as well. Both knew she wasn't herself, but it did sting a bit that she was beginning to feel she couldn't trust them. Amanda had Fin wait for the report while she went back to try to smooth things over with her girlfriend. She hoped she could get them both out of the dog house.

Olivia watched Amanda walk in and head straight for the bunks. Immediately she followed her. Nothing was said, but the way her girlfriend looked at her Olivia knew to follow.

"Look Liv, I'm sorry I wasn't more open and honest with the whole 'I was out on a case bit'. Cragen told us not to tell you. The last thing I want is to be in trouble with him again."

Olivia made Amanda look at her before responding. "You know I wouldn't have told the captain anything. Whatever we say in the apartment stays there. You know that. Can you tell me about the victim Amanda? I'm going to be seeing it anyway, I'd like to be a little prepared on this one. I know what he's capable of and I want to know before I see pictures."

"I can't." Amanda said burying her face in one of the pillows. "I don't wanna think about it. She looked too much like you." Olivia barely made out the last sentence before Amanda completely broke down silencing her sobs in the pillow. She didn't know what to think. Wrapping her girlfriend in a big hug she gently stroked her blonde hair not knowing what else to say. Olivia knew Amanda blamed herself for the entire Lewis case. She always said '_if I hadn't brought him in, he would have never saw you therefore he would have never hurt you'_. To this day, those words still stung in Olivia's ears whenever the blonde got upset over Lewis. It hit her that she owed Fin an apology too. Giving Amanda a gentle kiss she made her way out to find Fin.

"Fin! You got a minute? We need to talk."

"What's up Liv? Everything okay?" Fin questioned her starting to get worried.

"Things are fine. I just wanted to apologize for my message. It was out of line. I never should have said that." The sympathy in Olivia's eyes told Fin she was being sincere. He gave her a hug then asked about his partner. She explained that Amanda needed a minute to calm down.

Nick was able to find the silhouette of a man leaving the apartment complex with the same build as Lewis, but it was too dark to know for sure. The cameras were too far away. Even if they weren't the footage would be no good. They were ancient according to Fin. The three sat down going through Melinda's reports on the victim. Nick started mapping out the timeline. Fin was arranging pictures while Olivia was finishing with the results. She glanced down at one of the pictures and froze. It was almost like looking in a mirror. Now she realized why Amanda didn't want to talk about it. Cragen put his hand on Olivia's shoulder causing her to just about jump out of her skin.

"I'm sorry Liv, I just wanted to see what we had." Cragen apologized.

"Vic is 38 years old. Names Lucy. Bruises, cuts and burns in various spots. She was also raped. He did a real number on her Cap." Fin answered.

"I'll be back in a minute." Olivia spoke before bolting out of the squad room toward the bunks. She just wanted to be held by the one person who could always make her feel better. Nick started to follow but Cragen stopped him. He felt she needed some time to herself after looking at the photos laid out on the table. To Olivia's surprise Amanda was nowhere around. There was no note or text message saying she was leaving. A bad feeling started forming in her gut as she thought about where Amanda could have gone. _'Do I tell the Captain she's gone? Or do I just tell him she's taking a nap?' _She asked herself quietly. Walking back to the squad room she informed them she was taking an early lunch. No one questioned it. They figured the case was just weighing on her.

Olivia hailed a cab giving the address of the casino she expected to find the blonde at. She hesitated outside before getting the courage to go in. After 20 minutes Olivia decided to ask around to see if anyone had seen Amanda. One of the security guys said they saw her rush out the front doors after a sketchy looking man walked out. He didn't know which way she went or if she was still around. Walking outside, she tried to figure out which way she would go. That's when she saw Amanda across the street sitting against a brick wall in the alley. It took only seconds for her to cross the street.

"Amanda, what happened?"

"Liv? What are you doing here?" Asked a very confused Amanda.

"You just took off. So… I thought I would check here first. I know you are stressed and I'm not judging you, but can you answer one question?" Olivia asked her. Amanda nodded. "Why did you come here instead of finding me?"

"I couldn't do that to you. You have enough going on." Amanda responded. "Now can you take me to get checked out? I think my back is more damaged than I thought from last night." Amanda was not going to tell her she was in a fight.

Helping her off the ground, they made their way back to the truck. If it wasn't for the long sleeve shirt Amanda had on Olivia would have probably seen the scratches and bruises to her skin. Halfway to the hospital, Amanda's phone went off. It was Fin telling her they had another victim. The Captain wanted both her and Olivia back as soon as they could. Hanging up she told her girlfriend to head back to the precinct as they were needed. Olivia started to protest, but the look on Amanda's face told her it was pointless. Once back, Cragen filled them all in on the new case. He gave them the address and told them to go check it out.

"I wonder what we got this time." Amanda says to Fin as they pull into traffic.


	4. Chapter 4

"I wonder what we got this time." Amanda says to Fin as they pull into traffic.

Still stuck at the station, Olivia was losing her temper fast. "Why can't Amaro and I go to the scene?!" She lashed out at the Captain. "I'm tired of doing nothing. How can he get to me with cops everywhere?"

"Look, Liv it's for your own benefit. And I want my best detective here." Cragen calmly said. It obviously didn't reach Olivia's ears as she kept pacing and shooting daggers at the two men in front of her. Her eyes finally locked with Cragen's eyes. She was tired of being stuck on the outside of this case.

"If I'm the best, I should be there!" She snapped. Cragen just shook his head praying this would all end soon. He finally turned around closing the door to his office. Amaro who had been watching the stare down quickly opened the file in front of him pretending to be busy. Olivia stormed passed his desk slamming the door to the bunks in her wake. Flopping down on one of the beds she stared at the ceiling trying to calm herself down. After a few minutes of looking at nothing but concrete walls she chose to go for a walk.

Amanda and Fin pulled up to the address they were given at the station. It was a beautiful looking house in Amanda's opinion. A fenced yard, a garden and a nice lawn. Unfortunately, they weren't there to admire the landscaping or architecture of the house. Once inside, that terrible smell hit them just like the last time they were called out. The only difference was this place didn't just belong to just the victim herself. It was obvious a kid lived or stayed there as well. She only hoped the kid was nowhere around when the attack happened. Melinda came from upstairs asking about Olivia.

"She was probably sent to Mercy General to see the victim and get a statement." Amanda answered.

"I doubt it. The victim is dead in her room still. Bloody, bruised and burned. Have you found the boy who lives here?" Melinda responded, concern filling her voice. Amanda shook her head. Both were somewhat relieved as it meant the boy was probably not in the home at the time. Fin finally made his appearance again going over what he had seen upstairs. The victim and scene were almost identical to the one the night before. Brunette, late thirties, looking like Olivia to some extent. They were just waiting on surveillance tapes before they could leave. Amanda took the little bit of downtime she had to text her girlfriend asking her how she was doing. Her response back was **I'm worried about you. **She replied she was fine before getting back into the car.

"Fin, do ya mind dropping me off at the hospital?" She asked. Looking at her watch, she added that she had an appointment she couldn't miss.

"Sure. Everything alright?" Fin questioned.

"Yeah, just getting my back checked out. I tripped over Frannie last night and I think I may have tweaked something." She said. Seeing his face, she quickly added. "I'm okay big man. It's nothing to worry about." To her surprise, Fin actually bought it. She was able to finally let the breath out she'd been holding from her lie. Once they pulled up she told him thank you then headed inside.

As he arrived back at the precinct he noticed Olivia standing outside waiting. She seemed very agitated so he tried to avoid her; his luck wasn't so good though.

"Fin! What took you so long to get back? Where's Rollins?" She asked.

"Uh, we had to wait for tapes. She said she had an appointment at Mercy so I dropped her off before coming back." Fin responded. The look in her eyes told him it probably wasn't a good idea to say that. He quickly made his way past her heading upstairs to avoid an argument. Olivia hesitated for a minute then followed him upstairs. There really wasn't much she could do. Cragen came out of his office at the same time Fin reached his desk. The Captain also asked him where his partner was, and he told him she was at an appointment but would be back as soon as she was finished. Then he continued with what was found at the scene.

"It's the same as last time." Fin said throwing his notes on the table. "She's a brunette, late 30s or early 40s, somewhat of an athletic build and has a kid or watches one as there was a kid's room there. We will know more when Melinda's done and we got a name."

Cragen nodded. He asked Olivia to get a hold of next of kin as soon as Melinda dropped the file off. Like his detectives, he didn't want the kid to have been taken. Nick was looking through tapes while Fin was working on a timeline for the new victim. This left Olivia to her own thoughts while waiting. She started thinking about when she went looking for Amanda.

'_Have you seen this blonde in here today?' Guy nods and says 'I saw her follow a sketchy man out the door.'_

_Running outside I look around and see Amanda across the street. _

'_Amanda what happened? Are you okay?'_

'_What are you doing here Liv?' _

'_I came looking for you. Why didn't you come find me?' _

'_I couldn't. You have too much going on. Now can you take me to get checked out?'_

That's when Olivia remembered that Amanda was on the ground. Why didn't she think of it earlier? She knew the blonde hurt herself the night before. She was also seen following a man out of the casino. Amanda must have approached him and that's how she ended up on the ground. She knocked on the Captain's door before letting him know she was going to get Amanda from her appointment. She reassured him she would be as quick as she could.

Olivia put the car in park debating on texting Amanda or just finding her. After 15 minutes of fighting with herself she chose the latter of the two. She introduced herself as Detective Olivia Benson to the receptionist then asked for Amanda Rollins. The nurse left to check if she could have visitors only to return a minute later saying Amanda would be out shortly. Olivia took a seat; anxiously waiting knowing their conversation would be anything but easy. She didn't have to wait long before her girlfriend slowly walked out of the double doors.

"Liv, what are you doing here?" Amanda questioned.

"Fin told me he dropped you off. I got a little worried. I know you said it was your back from the night before, but unlike him I don't by it. What really happened?"

Amanda could sense the concern in the brunette's voice as she talked to her. She sighed before responding. "There's not much to tell. I went to the casino… I had no intention of gambling. I was just trying to see how well I could control myself. I saw Nate, who I'm still furious with, and followed him out. We had a small confrontation, but nothing too major. He shoved me to the ground and took off. That's it. And that is why my back is worse than it was. I'm gonna be sore for a few days, the bump on my back from the initial injury will go away soon. The bruising will take as long as it does to heal." She explained. Olivia let out a huge sigh of relief, before gently wrapping Amanda in a warm embrace. After a short passionate kiss she started ushering the blonde toward the exit door.

"We need to get back to work. But after that, we can do whatever you like. It's about you tonight." Olivia said as she started backing out of the parking lot.

To Amanda the drive seemed to drag on. She just wanted this entire case over with. No more Lewis would mean Olivia would be able to get back to her normal self. It also meant she could try and pull herself back together without getting busted for what she'd been doing. And maybe, just maybe she could get past blaming herself for ever bringing him in to start with. If she was honest with herself, it was not her fault. But she couldn't stop blaming herself for ever arresting him in the first place. Amanda didn't even notice Olivia had parked the car or that they'd been sitting in it for 10 minutes. A tap on her shoulder snapped her out of her daydream and they headed inside.

Melinda was just leaving after dropping off the latest victim's report as they were rounding the corner. She nodded at them both making her way to the elevator. Fin got up and handed Olivia the paper with the number of the person she needed to contact before making his trip to the table to lay out the newest evidence.

"So, our vic's name is Heather. 39 years old. She has the same injuries as Lucy had. The only difference between this scene and the other is the note that was left behind." Fin said holding up the note for Amanda to read. As she looked at the paper her heart almost stopped. It read: **Detective Benson, until I can get to you, I plan to use my skills on women exactly like you. It's not the same, but it will have to do while I wait for you.** Amanda cringed before setting it back on the table excusing herself. Olivia looked up from her phone call as the blonde passed her heading into Cragen's office.

"Amanda, what can I do for you?" He asked with concern lacing his voice.

"Umm… I kinda need to tell you something. I should've told you months ago, but I couldn't bring myself to do it." She paused for a second before continuing. "And if you wanna fire me, I will understand. I'm sure it's breaking the rules, but I can't lie about it anymore."

His face looked even more concerned as Amanda finished her rambling. "What is it Amanda? You haven't gone back to gambling have you?"

"No. N-nothing like that." Amanda quickly answered. "It's about me and Olivia…. We um…"

"Amanda" Cragen interrupted. "I know what you are going to say. I've known for awhile now actually. I've seen the way you two look at each other. That night in your apartment made it completely clear." Amanda didn't know what to say. Had it really been that obvious? As she turned to leave, he stopped her. He told her to take Olivia and go home to have a night to themselves. He didn't want to see them before noon the next day. She thanked him as she walked out overhearing the last of the information Olivia had found out about the boy.

"It turns out, he's not hers. She's his godmother and he spends a lot of time there when his mom is out of town for work." Olivia finished explaining as Amanda walked up to her.

"Come on Liv. It's time to go home."

"Amanda, it's only four. We still have a few hours left." Olivia reminded her.

"It's okay. Cragen told us to go home. He doesn't want to see you or me until tomorrow."

Olivia just nodded picking up her things. It wasn't that bad of an idea. Now she'd be able to talk to Amanda without dealing with her bad mood at work. Fin and Amaro were confused with the leaving but figured they needed a break from the case. Getting into the truck, Olivia looked at Amanda contemplating her next sentence in hopes she wouldn't anger her girlfriend.

"Manda, we need to talk. We've been avoiding it, but it can't wait any longer. No more secrets, please." Olivia pleaded with her. Amanda just nodded while backing the truck out to leave.


	5. Chapter 5

"Manda, we need to talk. We've been avoiding it, but it can't wait any longer. No more secrets, please." Olivia pleaded with her. Amanda just nodded while backing the truck out to leave.

They pulled up to the small diner a few blocks from their apartment to grab a bite to eat. It was complete silence except for telling the waitress their orders. Olivia was the first to break the silence. "What is going on? You've been so different and defensive lately. Have I done something wrong?"

"No. You're great Liv. Being with you is the happiest I've ever been. I just don't wanna become too attached. Everything I love ends up hating me or disappearing." Amanda explained trying not to hurt the brunette's feelings. "As for my gambling problem… The answer is yes. I have been back to the casino a couple times. I'm just having a hard time staying away."

"Why?" Olivia questioned with eyes pleading for an answer. Amanda's silence made her continue. "Why is it hard? Talk to me. Please?" She started begging.

"It helps. Between the tension and stress, I get so worked up. I guess it's like an outlet for me. I don't know…" She paused looking up at Olivia seeing the hurt in her eyes. "I hate it as much as you do. But what else can I do about it when meetings don't help?"

"Talk to me. I can handle it. I can take on anything with you. I'm going to get you through this. I won't let it destroy you as I can't bear to lose you." Olivia answered leaning over the table giving Amanda a passionate kiss.

After paying the check, they walked back out to the truck talking about what to do with the rest of their evening. It wasn't often they had the same hours, let alone same days off. Amanda brought up the idea of staying away from the apartment and maybe a short distance out of the city for a mini break. Olivia agreed to the idea a little faster than she expected. Amanda had thought she'd fight her on it. They went back to the apartment to pick up a few things along with fixing Frannie up for the night. "You ready to go?" Olivia asked Amanda after she hung up with the dog walker. Amanda nodded grabbing her keys and bag. Once in her truck, Amanda pulled out one of her CDs choosing to blast it as they were leaving. Olivia groaned, but couldn't be heard. She never did like country. After a few songs, Amanda chose to switch to a radio station telling the brunette to find something she liked.

When they pulled up to the hotel Olivia's jaw dropped. She figured they would be staying in one, but was not expecting the beauty of it. Amanda noticed her face. "Liv, I know it looks expensive but it's really not that high priced, I swear. It's very reasonable. Just enjoy yourself?" Olivia started to relax a bit still not entirely convinced about price until Amanda pulled up the receipt on her phone. She nodded looking at the blonde one last time before grabbing her things exiting the truck. "Reservations for Rollins." She spoke softly to the man behind the counter. He smiled handing her a key card telling her their room was on the second floor. Grabbing Olivia's bag in one hand and interlacing their finger with the other, she led her towards their room.

It was a nice room in Olivia's mind. It was spacious and even had a mini bar. She was impressed. Looking over she saw Amanda throw the bags on one of the chairs before rummaging through the bar to see what was in it. She walked back over with two small bottles. One whiskey and one was vodka. Amanda handed over the vodka bottle before popping the top off hers drinking half in one go. "Sorry, trying to relax and de-stress." Amanda mumbled when she saw her lover's shocked expression. She was never going to admit she wanted to forget everything from the last week including her gambling slip ups. Also trying to avoid thinking of tracking Lewis down herself and putting him six feet under. Olivia sat next to her on the bed pulling her into a warm embrace seeing the turmoil written all over her face.

Amanda turned in Olivia's arms giving her a very passionate, loving kiss. Both liquor bottles hit the floor as the kiss intensified. It'd been the first night of many where they were actually able to spend alone time together. Amanda pushed Olivia back onto the bed before kicking her shoes off crawling up beside her. Slowly the blonde started unbuttoning her girlfriend's blouse while continuing to kiss her. Olivia reached up in an attempt to pull Amanda's shirt off when one of their phones started buzzing. "Damn it!" Amanda groaned reaching for the annoying device on the dresser. Fin's named flashed across the screen. Not wanting to answer it she ignored the call trying to focus on her previous actions. '_Why would Fin be calling me anyway?'_ She thought before shaking it from her mind. Olivia sat up grabbing Amanda and started kissing her once again. To her displeasure it was her phone that went off this time. She grabbed it noticing it was Cragen. She sighed before answering, letting her girlfriend know it was work.

"Benson." She mumbled a little irritated.

"Liv, I know I said I'd leave you alone, but is Amanda with you?" He asked.

"Yeah, she's sitting right next to me, why?"

"I had to make sure. Amaro and I are at her apartment. It's been broken into. Fin is on his way with her dog to the emergency vet. The place is trashed…." Cragen explained. The worry in his voice starting to taper off. "Amanda didn't answer so we all got worried. Please let her know. We'll call when we know more."

Olivia thanked him before hanging up looking over at the worried blue eyes staring at her. She could lie and wait for Fin's call or be honest risking upsetting her even more. She finally chose the latter of the two. Olivia explained to Amanda their apartment was trashed. Then explained how Fin was taking Frannie to the vet. Tears started falling from the once bright blue eyes as Amanda took it all in. Her thoughts immediately flashed to Lewis but then bounced to Nate. Her mind quickly settled on William Lewis and his twisted mind. Olivia saw the hurt/confusion flashing across Amanda's face. She didn't know what to say as she watched as the only person she really loved crumbled right in front of her. She tried to hold onto Amanda but was pushed aside as she grabbed keys, phone and shoes heading for the door. Olivia quickly fixed her shirt before hurrying out after Amanda.

Olivia gripped onto the door handle as the truck went flying out of the parking lot down the street. Amanda had one thing on her mind which was her dog. Before Olivia, Frannie was the only thing she loved knowing that she would get unconditional love back. That dog had helped her through a few trying times, especially after one of her sister's calls or visits that left her emotionally wrecked. Olivia started to tell Amanda to slow down a bit only changing her mind when she saw that look on her face. The one which said she would not listen to reason no matter how logical it was. It was pointless to even try. They made it across town in about 15 minutes which was a record for New York driving. Amanda barely put the truck in park before bouncing out rushing inside the building. Olivia took a minute letting her nerves settle before attempting to move. For once Amanda's driving had actually scared her.

"Where's my dog Fin?!" Amanda shouted entering the vet's office. Fin quickly put in arm around her walking her down the hall. All she could do is glare at him. He knew she was just upset over her fur baby but her eyes were like ice bearing into him. Fin was a little intimidated to speak. He relaxed when he saw Olivia walking down the corridor. Amanda seemed to relax a bit in Olivia's arms. Fin explained how they got a call to her apartment building. Upon arriving, they found the door busted in. There was a young woman unconscious by the table with a leash in her hand while the dog lay a few feet away barely breathing. Amanda confirmed the woman as her dog walker coming to take Frannie on an outing as her and Olivia were staying away for the night. It was then the two senior detectives caught the look on Amanda's face. She was obviously blaming herself for not taking her dog with them. Fin and Olivia took a seat while Amanda just paced back and forth anger still showing on her face.

Amaro stopped by the clinic to let everyone know Dana, the dog walker would be okay. He looked over to the sleeping blonde next to his partner. They could give him no answer on how the dog was doing. Nick told Olivia they were being put up in a hotel until CSU cleared the apartment per Captain's orders. Olivia just nodded as she watched Amanda sleeping. Fin followed him out letting him know he would be back just as soon as he got news on Frannie and knew Amanda would be okay. Just as he sat back down the vet came walking out. Her face was blank, neither could decipher if it was good news or bad.

"Are you Amanda Rollins, Frannie's owner?" The vet asked. Amanda just nodded. "I'm Dr. Summers. I've been treating her since your friend brought her in."

Amanda tensed up in Olivia's arms not knowing what she was going to hear then interrupted the vet. "Is Frannie okay? Is my dog gonna make it?" Amanda asked barely able to get the words out.

* * *

**A/N: Short chapter, I know. I promise the next one will be longer :)  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry bout last chapter and Frannie. Please don't hate me too much. Hope this chapter makes it a little better :)  
**

* * *

Amanda tensed up in Olivia's arms not knowing what she was going to hear. "Is Frannie okay? Is my dog gonna make it?" Amanda asked barely able to get the words out having a small flashback of her life before and after Frannie.

'_Manda, you're never going to get anywhere in your life. Always thinking you're better than everyone.'_

'_Mom you know that's not true! I just want a better life than you've given me.' Grabbing her bag she heads for the door._

'_Ain't no one ever gonna love you with that attitude' Mom yells back as door slams. _

_Two years later and after her transfer she sees a box in the gutter moving on the way to work. Stopping she gets out of the car. A small pup pokes its head out wagging its tail._

'_Aww… You're adorable, wanna come home with me?' A small lick on her face was the answer. Putting the puppy in the truck she took off. Frannie made that first year in with her the best she'd ever had in her entire life._

"Amanda. Pay attention." Olivia murmurs in her ear snapping her out of her daydream. She looks up at the vet again.

"Frannie will be just fine. She was poisoned. We've dealt with the poison and are getting fluids in her now. She'll be free to go home in two days when we are certain it is all out of her system. You're lucky your friend found her when he did or it could have been a lot worse." Dr. Summers smiled. "Whoever did this though is a piece of work…" She added before heading back to the exam room.

Amanda followed her back to see her baby. Frannie looked up and slowly wagged her tail at seeing her mistress. She was rewarded a kiss to her nose and big hug as happy tears started flowing. She turned to leave with Frannie trying to tag along. "No big girl. You need to stay here." She told her. "I'll be back for you soon."

Amanda let out a huge sigh of relief as she came back out then hugging Fin with a big thank you. As they were walking out, Fin got a text from Nick. He informed the two women they all were needed back at the station to go over the events and evidence found at Amanda's apartment. Olivia mumbled all the way back to the truck. Why couldn't they just have one normal night? "You okay?" Olivia asks Amanda once inside. She nods her response following Fin from the clinic.

Walking into the precinct, they see the captain pacing. He seemed completely worked up. Noticing the three coming through the door, he hurries over leading them to Nick who is in one of the interrogation rooms. They all sit down waiting for someone to speak. Cragen put the file down in front of Amanda with the pictures CSU took while putting the paperwork outlining the evidence log in front of Olivia. Nick and Fin started working on the bulletin board with the timeline. It was quiet until Amanda came across the note he left in her file. "What the Hell?!" She squeaked standing up quickly. All eyes turned to her in an instant. "The idiot poisoned my dog on purpose!" She growled. Olivia glanced at the note and writing. **Detective Rollins, I came here for Detective Benson seeing how she resides there. With the off chance she was gone I planned on taking you for some leverage. I found your friend and that demon dog of yours instead. Figured I could at least play your emotions and give you an idea on how I plan on getting what I want. –Lewis**

Olivia just shuddered as she looked to where Amanda was just moments ago. "When did she leave?" She questioned the rest of the team who just shrugged. Fin noticed the now open door and pointed with a slightly worried look on his face. Before Cragen could say anything Olivia was gone like a flash. She went to the cribs first with no luck. After checking the gym, then the bathroom she finally realized Amanda had actually left the building. In the parking lot she noticed the truck was gone as well. Not knowing her girlfriend's exact mind frame she started to become genuinely concerned. "Amanda's gone. And by gone, I mean left the precinct in her truck."

"Fin, take Liv and check out the vet hospital and anywhere else you might think she went. Amaro, I want you to check the hotel they rented for the night then drive around looking for her truck." Cragen started barking orders. "And one more thing, keep me in the loop."

They all nodded grabbing keys rushing out of the building. Fin had no idea what to say to his distraught colleague so he kept quiet. Olivia called Amanda twice along with sending numerous texts on the way there. In the back of her mind she hoped Amanda would be with her dog. There was no way she wanted Fin to drop her at the casino to realize the blonde had been slipping. All she really wanted to do is wrap her up in her arms letting her know everything would be okay. Stopping in the parking lot of the vet clinic, Olivia lets out a huge sigh of relief when she spotted the beat up truck. Bursting in the door she almost took out one of the assistants. Quickly apologizing she asked about Frannie and if her owner was with her. The assistant told her she was there for awhile but had left 10 minutes prior to Olivia's arrival. Dr. Summers came around the corner recognizing her from a few hours earlier with the distraught blonde. Handing her the note Amanda had left she apologetically excused herself and rushed off to another exam room. Slowly opening the note, Olivia took in the words. **My love, I hope you know that I love you with all that I am. Please don't have doubts about that. I need some time to myself. I knew you'd come here looking for me so stay with Frannie if you want and wait for me. I may be awhile though. With everything that's happened in my life, this dog has been everything to me before you came along. It hurts not being able to talk to you, but I can't add anymore to your plate. I love you and always will. I'm sorry for disappearing like I did. Love, Amanda. **The tears started flowing after those words. Fin walked in and caught her just as her legs buckled underneath her. She turned around to hug him before breaking down completely. Amanda had started to open the door when she noticed the scene of her girlfriend with Fin. For a second she thought something happened to her brown fur baby before seeing the note on the ground. Her heart almost broke. It wasn't meant to hurt Olivia but it obviously did. Sighing, she turned around to go sit in her truck to see what she would do when Fin calmed her down.

Looking up she saw Fin heading to his vehicle on his phone obviously calling Cragen as they were probably all out looking for her. A sense of guilt went through her. Realizing she must have made her new 'family' extremely worried by just taking off. In her mind if she left, it would be one less thing Lewis could use to get to Olivia with. Watching Fin walk back into the clinic she debated with herself on going in or continuing to just sit in the truck. Unfortunately, her mind was made for her when she was jerked out of her truck. "I wouldn't do this if I were you. There are two detectives right inside that door!" Amanda growled as the person tried to hold onto her squirming body. Next thing she knew there w3aas a blinding pain on her left side. She screamed as loud as she could before the hand went quickly over her mouth.

Hearing the doors burst open, the man tried to pick her up and run. "Damn it!" he cursed realizing she'd only slow him down with two NYPD detectives now outside. He dropped her much to his own dismay and took off running. Fin bolted like lightning after him while Olivia made her way to Amanda. Seeing all the blood around her she quickly called for a bus and back up. Amanda gave no response as Olivia tried to wake her unconscious form up. Stripping her jacket to put over the wound, Olivia softly whispered to Amanda. She was begging her to hold on. Telling her they would get through everything finally having what they both want if she'd just wake up. Last thing Amanda heard before giving into the blackness was Fin yelling at the person who had her and the whispered 'I love you' from her girlfriend. EMTs were surprisingly quick to arrive with two police cars shortly behind. Olivia reluctantly backed away as they tried to fix Amanda to get her into the ambulance. Recognizing the voice of her partner she quickly told him Fin went past the back of the building after the guy. Amaro shot off in that direction telling the others to circle the adjoining streets and a few blocks each direction. Arguing with the paramedics Olivia finally got her way to go with her.

At the hospital Olivia almost took out an orderly for not letting her go back with Amanda. She knew she wasn't allowed but her mind was far from functioning correctly. The woman she loved more than life itself was in bad shape. She kept staring at the clock watching the minutes going by painfully slow. It even took Olivia 20 minutes before she even noticed Cragen had come in and sat beside her. A small smile was all she could give him.

"How's Amanda?" He asked softly.

"I don't know. She was badly bleeding when the paramedics showed up. No one has told me anything though. I want to know what's going on." She answered before breaking down once again.

"I know you're upset Liv. But do you know who might have done this?"

"It was Lewis. It had to be. Who else would have gone after her? He must've figured out what we are from watching us. He did poison Amanda's dog leaving that note about taking her." Olivia started to continue but was cut off when Fin and Nick rushed over to them with their own questions. After finding out nothing about Amanda they didn't already know, they rattled off what little they had. Anger started boiling in Olivia when she realized it wasn't Lewis. Who else would want to hurt the blonde? Fin started pacing, angry at the fact his partner got hurt when he was such a very short distance away from her.

Nick tapped Olivia on the arm as he saw a doctor walk out from the ER headed in their direction. Olivia practically flew out of her chair as she started bombarding the poor young doctor with questions. Only quieting down when Cragen put a hand on her shoulder gently squeezing it so they could hear what the diagnosis was.

"I take it your family of Amanda Rollins?" He asked as they all nodded. "Well, you have one tough and a very lucky detective. Her wound did bleed a lot, but there is no major damage done. Her thick belt she was wearing minimized the depth. No surgery needed and only a few stitches. I'm going to keep her for awhile to see how she's progressing. If her blood pressure stays in normal range she can go home this evening. She will be really sore for a few days. If she had her way she'd be leaving now. " He continued realizing it was already 2am in the morning. Everyone laughed a little at his last comment knowing it was definitely something she would try.

"Can I see her?" Olivia impatiently asked.

"You must be Olivia… You're the one she's been asking about." He smiled motioning them all to follow. Nick and Fin were stopped just outside her room by the Captain who told them Olivia should go first and they could go in soon. Other than a few questioning looks they shrugged and sat down.

"Amanda, how are…. Um, what are you doing? Olivia quickly became confused.

"I'm getting dressed to leave. Why?" Amanda questions with a serious tone to her voice.

"Uh, no. From what I hear you are stuck for awhile. I talked to the doctor." Olivia stated firmly stepping closer to Amanda.

She sighed slowly sitting on the edge of her bed halfway glaring at Olivia for taking the doctor's side. Olivia chuckled at her lover's obvious annoyance before giving her a sensuous kiss. Letting Amanda know she'd be right back she walked out to have the others go in. All were extremely happy to know things went the way they did. It could've ended a lot worse than it did. Cragen stepped out to take a call coming back in apologizing to Amanda for their short visit. Everyone had to head back to work except Olivia who was on guard duty to keep Amanda there.

"Looks like we are a team tonight." Fin nudged Nick with a small smile. "Let's see if we can get this thing solved.

The last words they heard before taking off was Cragen's warning for them to be careful. If this was a Lewis attack, it wouldn't be easy. Fin hit the gas and they headed toward the next scene.


	7. Chapter 7

The last words they heard before taking off was Cragen's warning for them to be careful. If this was a Lewis attack, it wouldn't be easy. Fin hit the gas and they headed toward the next scene.

Olivia sat beside Amanda's bed silently thinking to herself over everything that had happened in the past week. Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control since Lewis' escape. Amanda was having problems, she was having nightmares and Lewis was taunting them. She looked up from staring at the floor when she felt a squeeze on her hand. She gave Amanda a gentle kiss before asking how she was feeling. Of course she got the answer she was so used to hearing from her, 'I'm fine.' After another few minutes of thinking it over she chose to jump straight to the point. "Amanda, honey, please talk to me. What happened? Do you know who did this to you?" She softly asked watching Amanda tense up at the simple questions.

"I don't know exactly who did it to me. I'm sure it has to do with that bet I made though. I was supposed to pay it earlier before Frannie got hurt. I forgot to do it so I guess that was their way of trying to collect the debt." Amanda explained still not looking at her girlfriend. There was no way she could handle the disappointment she'd see in her eyes.

Olivia gently lifts up Amanda's head to make her look into her concerned brown eyes. "I'll make you a deal. I'll take care of the money you owe. You have to promise me this is the very last time though. I hate to say this, but one more slip and that's it. I love you too much to let you fall off the wagon completely. I won't be able to handle it if you do. Also, I'll be forced to tell the Captain and we'll be done for good. Do you understand?"

Amanda nods her head in agreement. "Thank you Liv. I really do appreciate it. I have the money; it's in my bag in the corner. I promise I'm done. I'm sorry I hurt you." She whispered turning away again.

Olivia stepped out into the hallway with Amanda's phone and dialed the number she was told would put her through to pay the debt owed. It was agreed she would meet someone at the entrance to the ER in an hour to take care of everything. She turned to go back to Amanda's room running right into Fin with a confused look on his face. Judging by the look, Olivia knew she had just blown everything out of the water. There was no lying to hide it this time. Ushering Fin through the door to her girlfriend's room she glanced at the bed to see the worried look on Amanda's face. To save too much embarrassment and guilt for her, Olivia only told Fin of the most recent gambling slip. He was a little disappointed, but gave an understanding smile promising to keep his mouth shut. Reassuring them both the secret was safe with him he offered to deal with the money so Olivia could stay with Amanda. With a hug and soft goodbye he left the room to wait.

"Liv, why do you stick around? I've done so much and I know I've disappointed you a lot. I don't understand how you could love me like you do."

Olivia was stunned to hear those words out of Amanda's mouth. How could Amanda not know why she loves her so much? It made her wonder even more what happened to Amanda that was left out of their conversations. Taking a deep breath, she answered her.

"Manda, you are a beautiful woman. I love you for who you are which includes your faults. I know your life hasn't been easy; I want to be the one to show you what it can be. I love and care for you so much it hurts sometimes. I may be disappointed with some of your decisions but that doesn't mean I will leave you. That's what being in a relationship is. It's working together to get through things. I want us to be completely honest with each other." She placed a soft kiss on Amanda's forehead before continuing. "I love you with all my heart and everything that I am. I knew I loved you from the first day you walked into our squad room. I only hope you feel the same."

Looking up into sincere brown eyes, Amanda gives a small smile. Knowing everything Olivia said is the truth, she still has a hard time believing it. Everyone in her life always leaves which is why she never completely opened up to her.

"Okay." Amanda whispers. "And Liv, I love you with everything that I am also. It's just hard to believe anyone could love me. I'm sorry."

Olivia just shakes her head before having Amanda move over a bit in the bed. She gently eased herself into the bed next to Amanda wrapping her up in her arms. Once both were settled, they drifted off to sleep within minutes of each other. Fin poked his head in to let them know he took care of things until he saw the two women sound asleep. He just smiled softly closing the door to head out. '_Well, that explains a lot._' He thought as he walked down the hall.

Walking back into the precinct to catch a few hours of sleep himself he noticed Nick was still working. Curiously he walked over to see what he had going on. Looking over the timeline that was laid out on the long table with the maps, it clicked. It seemed the people who were attacked and/or killed were all within a 5 mile radius with Amanda's apartment being in the center. Their latest victim wasn't a brunette this time either. It seemed he had chosen to take out blondes with blue eyes as well now. It confused Nick that he would switch to blondes, but after what Fin saw earlier it was making perfect sense to him. After a little bit more work he convinced the other detective to call it a night. They needed level heads in order to take down Lewis and keep the two women from harm. Fin was so thankful that Nick didn't question how they were coming on the one who attacked Amanda; he was too tired to come up with an excuse.

Olivia awoke to find Amanda out of bed and nowhere in sight. A small rush of panic went through her until she saw her come out of the bathroom. Amanda just smirked at the look she was wearing on her face. Sitting on the edge of the bed she leaned over planting a small kiss on Olivia's cheek. "You really think I would take off without you?" She questioned holding back a laugh. Olivia chuckled before giving Amanda a very passionate, loving kiss.

"Well, isn't this just so romantic." Fin said with a big grin on his face. Both women jumped at his voice. "I'm just teasing you. I'm here to break you out."

Amanda gave him a big hug. She was so happy she was free to go. No one in the precinct liked hospitals, but she hated them more than any of them knew. Growing up it was like her second home. Olivia tried to help Amanda get dressed to leave being quickly shot down with her saying she could do it herself. "Sometimes I hate how stubborn you are." Olivia mumbled while watching Amanda flinch as she tried to fix her belt where it wouldn't push on her wound. She growled at Liv when she offered once again to help. The nurse walked in with her discharge papers which were snatched from his hands. Quickly signing the papers she dropped on the bed, said goodbye and hurried out the door almost bulldozing over Fin to get out of there.

"I can't wait to see Frannie." Amanda said excitedly as she got in the car to go pick up her baby. It was the first time in awhile that either Olivia or Fin saw her that happy over something. Fin dropped them off at the clinic and headed back to work. Once inside, Amanda walked straight through the doors to see her dog without waiting for approval. Olivia quickly followed the limping blonde hoping she wouldn't overdo it and bust her stitches. Frannie looked up at her mistress with her tail wagging. She cautiously walked over to Amanda like she knew something was wrong. Olivia stood back watching the interaction between the two silently wondering if the dogs unconditional love was the only real love her girlfriend knew. That smile on Amanda's face was one Olivia had never seen before. Hugging Frannie one last time she put the leash on her which was taken from her immediately along with being reprimanded for trying to avoid taking it easy. She also had her keys taken from her since Olivia insisted on driving as well much to Amanda's dislike.

"You don't play fair Benson!" Amanda complained once they were in the truck, "I'm not a child, I can do things myself."

"You are supposed to take it easy for the next 24-48 hours so, that means you will rest and do nothing. I will take care of things." Olivia reminded her. Amanda turned to stare out the window mumbling under her breath. Shaking her head, Olivia tried not to laugh at the frustrated blonde. The next few days were going to be so much fun attempting to keep Amanda from doing things she would normally do, including work. _'Looks like I have my work cut out for me'_ Olivia thought as she pulled into the hotel. Frannie bounced out of the truck after her. She was so excited just to be with her people. Amanda on the other hand just stayed put staring off into space.

After getting the dog situated with food and toys, Olivia walked back out to the truck. "Amanda, what's going through that head of yours?" She asked.

"It's nothing. I'm just thinking is all. I'm fine." Amanda reassured her as she finally chose to get out of the truck.

Olivia walked around to the back to grab their bags but before she could someone got to her first. The rag covered her mouth before she could even yell for Amanda. Realizing her girlfriend wasn't behind her, Amanda turned around to survey the parking lot wondering where she would go. Something was wrong. Olivia would never just disappear like that. Quickly she sent a text to Fin telling him something happened, he needed to get there as soon as he could with Nick. Not even thinking she slowly moved around the building looking for the brunette. Seeing a man putting her into a suburban in the back of the hotel she went straight to detective mode yelling "NYPD Stop!" It was only when Amanda reached for her gun she realized it was still with her stuff in the truck.

She tried to run, but her recent wound kept her from moving that well. It would be impossible for her to outrun him. Before she could think of something, he had already caught up grabbing her around the waist. "I guess you're coming along for the ride too." He grumbled carrying her off to his vehicle. Amanda recognized the voice immediately. She knew at that moment Lewis was done playing with them. Now it was waiting to see what he had in store for her and Olivia.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for such a late update. Couldn't figure out how I wanted to write this one.**

***possible trigger warning. Can't say for sure but rather be safe than sorry.***

* * *

Now it was waiting to see what he had in store for her and Olivia.

Lewis soaked a rag in chloroform causing Amanda to quickly pass out. Tying her up and duct taping her mouth he threw her in next to Olivia. He then shot out of the parking lot like a bolt of lightning.

"Nick, come on we have to go!" Fin yelled as he grabbed his things. "Rollins just text, there's problems at the hotel."

Nick quickly followed Fin out of the precinct. Fin turned the sirens on screeching out of the parking lot to get to where the two women were staying. On arriving they noticed Amanda's truck, but their bags were still in the back which gave the two men a sick feeling in their guts. Pounding on the door, the only response they got was Frannie's whining and barking. Trying the door Fin was able to open it since it wasn't locked. Looking from the dog around the room, he realized neither one was there.

"Nick, get the Captain out here along with CSU!"Fin yelled trying to think of something that might help them find their colleagues.

Quickly dialing Nick got a hold of both parties in a short time. Walking back to Fin, he looked at him waiting for a plan on what to do. Fin decided security tapes might help out so they headed to the office. The two watched in horror as the tape showed Olivia helping Amanda out before walking to the back to get their things. While trying to grab one of the bags, someone had grabbed Olivia with a cloth covering her mouth. They watched as he dragged her unconscious body around the truck. Amanda's face showed a look of fear when she turned around seeing that Olivia was gone. The tape showed nothing else after Amanda walked around the side of the building.

"Are there any tapes showing the other side of the hotel?" Nick asked the manager. He just shook his head apologizing. He said thank you as he stepped out the door with Fin.

"Let's look around the side of the building maybe we'll find something." Fin suggested before walking away with Nick in tow.

First thing Fin saw was Amanda's phone lying on the ground. Picking it up he saw the screen where she was attempting to send him another text with the letters 'Le' the only ones typed. Handing it over to Nick he saw a few small dots of blood obviously from Amanda's stab wound. He started to go further before he was stopped by Cragen's voice.

"What's going on here?" Cragen asked with worry evident in his voice watching as Amanda's dog frantically searched the property for her owner.

"Rollins text me. Said it was important I get here soon. I grabbed Amaro and rushed over here. Only took 20 minutes. But they were gone when we got here." Fin explained.

A barking Frannie got everyone's attention. Jogging over to where she was, they saw the tire marks in the dirt. It was obvious someone sped out of there quickly. It took the Captain's order for them to get back to work in finding out where they were taken.

"What do we do about the dog?"Nick asked.

"Take her with us."Fin responded. "If anyone can find Amanda it will be Frannie."

Nick just shrugged motioning the dog into the car.

Slowly coming around with a major headache, Amanda looked around the best she could realizing she was in a moving vehicle. She was having no luck in remembering what happened. Looking to her left she saw Olivia still unconscious and tied up. Everything was coming back to her in full force now. She was tied up as well, so she had no choice but to silently sit there wondering what was to come. The smallest movement had Amanda's instant attention; Olivia was finally starting to come around. She could see the confusion on the brunette's face and turned her eyes to the driver. Watching closely she saw fear flash in Olivia's eyes. Amanda wanted nothing more than to wrap her up in her arms but that was definitely not an option.

They pulled up to an old house that was obviously on the edge of town as there weren't any buildings in close range. Or at least none Amanda could see. Lewis turned to look at the two women who pretended to still be passed out. He grabbed Amanda first slinging her over his shoulder before carrying her in. Dropping her on the floor he turned on his heel to get the other one. Once Olivia was inside he took a trip out to the garage to see what supplies he had. Realizing he needed some more things he cursed himself for not having them. He went back upstairs and ripped the duct tape off both their mouths causing them to instantly open their eyes. He figured they could have a little leisure before the fun began. Lewis reminded them to behave but even if they did scream no one would be able to hear them anyway. As he closed the door Amanda immediately turned her attention to her girlfriend.

"Liv, are you okay? I'm sorry I couldn't protect you and that we are stuck here."

"I'm fine Manda. I am more worried about you. Have you seen your shirt lately?" She asked staring at the blood stained garment. Looking down, Amanda realized just how bad her clothes looked.

"Now that you mention it, it is painful. I must've ripped my stitches. But more importantly, what do we do?"

"I don't know Manda, I really don't."Olivia responded apologetically with sad eyes. _'How did I let Amanda get dragged into this with me?'_ She thought.

Amanda did her best to scoot over next to Olivia with her injury and being tied up like she was. Finally able to get where she wanted, she rested her head against her shoulder trying to stay positive in hopes they'd be out of there soon. Olivia kissed the back of Amanda's head before going back to her own thoughts on how they could get out of there.

At the precinct Fin and Amaro were having no luck in coming closer to finding their two colleagues. The longer they were gone, the less chance they had of finding them alive. Frannie had finally calmed down curled up under Captain Cragen's desk. They even put in a call to track Olivia's phone in the off chance she still had it with her. Nick walked over with a piece of paper about the café right across the street from the hotel. He explained how it should have video surveillance of the cars leaving the parking lot. With that they were out the door in a flash. It took 20 minutes of arguing before Fin finally threatened the guy to hand over his tapes. There was no time to wait for a warrant since every minute that went by was one more closer to them not finding their colleagues. Grabbing the tapes from the guy he storms out of the café not even waiting for his partner.

Walking back into the house Lewis sees the two women leaning against each other. Smirking to himself knowing what was to come he put down the bags pulling out the items he planned on using immediately. "Well, you two seem comfortable" he said making his way over. Amanda just glared at him. Lewis could see the anger and rage flashing in her eyes as she struggled to try to free herself.

"The more you fight, the worse it will be." He said laughing as he bent down in front of her.

"Go to Hell!" She responded. Her reward was a slap to the face.

"Leave her alone. Please." Olivia begged him.

He shook his head before pulling Amanda up. As he looked her over he caught the red on her shirt. Olivia closed her eyes when she realized he noticed the wound when a wicked grin appeared on his face. Ripping Amanda's shirt open he threw her onto the couch. He ripped the bandage covering her wound off before eyeing it intently. Watching out of the corner of her eye Olivia paid close attention to his features while he looked over Amanda's stab wound. She didn't want to even think about what was going through his mind. Noticing the stare he tapes her mouth shut again, not wanting to hear her. As he lights up his cigarette, he looks at the blonde who seems to be in a fair amount of pain. Grabbing the vodka bottle he forcefully makes Amanda drink it.

"That should help with the pain when I'm fixing your wound." Lewis smirks as he pours the rest over her open injury.

Amanda starts whimpering not wanting to scream since she knows that it's what he wants. He glances at Olivia to make sure she's paying attention. He then leans in closer before taking his lighter bringing the flame to already damaged flesh. She lets out a blood curdling scream as she tries to wiggle away from the heat. "Quiet!" he hisses as a fist lands right across Amanda's jaw. Olivia's heart starts breaking while she sits there watching in horror as Lewis tortures her girlfriend. Putting his cigarette out on her arm he picks up her handcuffs. Lewis dragged her to one of the backrooms before untying her only to cuff her to a bed post. He ran his hands up and down her body putting extreme pressure on her wound with a huge grin on his face. Turning on his heel, he walked away. Realizing there was nothing she could do; Amanda just gave up trying to escape the cuffs while watching her shirt turn an even darker red than it was.

"Well, Detective Benson what should we do? Now that your 'friend' is contained, that just leaves us." Lewis spoke as he walked down the hallway towards Olivia. "Answer my question!" He screams ripping the tape off her mouth.

"No! Not until you tell me what you did to Amanda." She yelled right back.

"She's alive. If you want her to stay that way, I suggest you listen to me from here on out." He answered.

Olivia gives a small nod as she watches him carefully. He picks up a knife while using his lighter to heat it before pushing it down onto her arm. "Fuck you!" She growls before she herself is found with a fist in her face. Lewis quickly grabs the vodka forcing her to drink it as he adds a pill with it not losing his smirk. All Amanda can do is listen to the screams and noises in the opposite room. Closing her eyes she tries to focus on anything but the other room, which fails miserably. She silently curses herself for being unable to help the brunette after swearing to protect her from him. It's not long before her world goes black.

"Hey, I just found something." Nick half yells across the squad room. Fin immediately jumps up grabbing the paper from him. Looking curiously at Nick he waits for the explanation. "It may mean nothing, but someone saw the vehicle that looked like the one Lewis had." He continues to explain. "The only thing down that gravel road is a couple cabins."

"It's a lead. It may not be the right one, but it's something. I'll clear it with Cap." Fin says heading off towards the office.

Frannie jumps up as Fin nears the door with an almost sad look to her face. Cragen looks up trying to show a smile which he failed at miserably. "Please tell me you have something." He mumbles waiting for his detective to speak.

"Possible lead. Black sedan seen going down this road." He points to the map. The only things down there are cabins. It may or may not be him. What do you want us to do?" He questions.

"Let's get down there." He orders. "I'll take her with me." He points to the dog.

All 3 headed out of the precinct hoping to get to their colleagues in time.

"Hey, slow down! Are you trying to get us killed?!" Nick practically yells as they skid around the corner.

"I'm just tryin' to keep up with Cap." Fin responds not looking away from the fleeting tail lights in front of him. Nick just shakes his head before grabbing onto the door handle tightly.

Cragen lets Frannie out of the car as soon as they pull up on the first cabin. He thought maybe the dog could sniff out her mistress to save some time. She sniffed all around the property before coming back with an almost sad look across her face. Fin was ready to head to the next cabin, but the captain told them to check inside first. Shaking his head he grabbed Nick before making his way inside.

"They're not here." Nick said walking back out with a disappointed looking Fin following him.


	9. Chapter 9

The belt came down hard on Olivia's side causing her to scream in agony. It confused Lewis to no end on why the sleeping pill hadn't yet taken effect. He didn't realize she had never swallowed it. She managed to keep it in her mouth spitting it out to nudge under the couch when his back was turned. Picking her up, slinging her over his shoulder he carried her down the hall to the other room which was connected by a door to the one Amanda was in. He had it fixed to where Olivia could see into Amanda's room while being tied to the other bed, "See, the blonde bitch is fine." He muttered while tightening the knot on the ropes. She looked over to her passed out girlfriend and the sheets which were now stained red. Olivia couldn't help but wonder if Amanda hadn't lost so much blood she was no longer alive. Pushing that thought to the back of her mind, she tried to focus on Lewis and whatever it was he was planning for her. Lewis came back towards the rooms, but instead of heading for her, he was standing over Amanda. Landing a hard blow to her rib cage he hoped she'd come to. Amanda jolted awake with the sharp pain then proceeded to glare at him. He noticed her ice blue eyes showed rage, but smiled knowing there was nothing she could do about it.

"What the hell?!" She growled. "If you're going to kill me, just do it already."

"Not yet. I want you to watch what I do to your little friend. Then I will kill one or both of you." He said laughing as he walked through the door towards the bags in the kitchen.

Olivia caught Amanda's blue eyes noticing the anger and pain showing in them. She wished that her girlfriend was never brought into this, but there was no changing that now. Amanda watched the emotions play across Olivia's eyes. The more prominent one was fear. Noticing the ropes which kept her lover tied made her realize she had a better chance to get free. Once she got Olivia's attention again she tried to make Olivia understand what she wanted her to do by pulling on the cuffs keeping her in place. Watching Amanda, she tried to figure out why she'd be fighting her restraints before it finally kicked in. Amanda was trying to tell her to wiggle her wrists in hopes of loosening the ropes to escape. As Olivia started trying to squirm out of the ropes, she heard her girlfriend taunting Lewis.

"You better get on with whatever you're going to do or did you chicken out already? You're not such a tough guy after all are you?" Amanda questioned while staring him down.

"What did you just ask? If you paid attention, you'd know I always follow through with what I say." He grumbled while making his way back to her.

Amanda was not about to show fear even though she was a bit afraid of her punishment for talking to him like she did. Glancing over to Olivia, she saw that her arms were starting to get more movement in them. She hoped that it'd work its way out before he figured out what they were doing. Lewis had his knife in hand when he stopped at the edge of the bed. Bringing it down across her face she felt the burn of the iron hot blade as it sliced through skin like butter.

"Leave her alone! I thought I was the one you wanted!" Olivia shouted but it fell on deaf ears. He chose to ignore her.

"I'm sorry." Amanda whimpered as she felt the warm liquid start trickling down her face.

"Be quiet!" He snapped walking back out to grab the bag.

Catching Olivia's stare she saw the small shake of her head letting her know she couldn't get loose. There was nothing either one of them could do anymore but wait.

"How long before we get there?" Nick impatiently questioned Fin.

"It's another 2-3 miles out." Fin snapped. He'd given up keeping his anger in check.

They saw a black sedan sitting on the edge of the road. Slamming on his breaks, Fin was able to stop the car before hitting their Captain's. They watched as Frannie whined and pounced on the vehicle in front of them. It was obvious that Amanda had once been in the vehicle. With all the woods, cabins and camp grounds stretched throughout them, it went from feeling good about finding them to the same odds as finding a needle in a haystack. Their current plan went out the window as they could be in the cabin down the way or somewhere out in the middle of nowhere. As soon as the door was open, Frannie jumped in sniffing over everything before whining and lying down over her owner's jacket. Cragen had put a call in to all available units in the area to come aid in the search of two missing detectives now that things had changed.

"What do we do Cap?" Fin practically whispered trying to fight his own tears back.

"When someone gets here we will start a grid search. They can search the woods while we continue onto that cabin. If we strike out, we'll come back here and aid them." He responded in the calmest tone he could which didn't even keep the fear out of his voice.

Once a few officers arrived, the Captain let them know what to do as he headed back to his vehicle. Nick ended up having to carry the dog out of the sedan to put her in with Cragen as she wouldn't move otherwise. It was coming up on 24 hours since they had been taken which had the rest of the team thinking the worst. It took all Fin had to focus his thoughts on helping his fellow detectives instead of ways to torture and kill Lewis.

"It's all going to be okay." Nick kept whispering to himself as they continued down the road.

Pulling up to the long driveway, they chose to leave the vehicles and walk the quarter mile down the road. Fin notices Frannie's ears perk up as they are walking. He smiles softly with a newfound hope of finding his partner and Olivia. He just hopes they are alive. He knows they are all thinking the same thing though. What will they find when they locate the two women? Cragen had EMTs already in route set to meet up with the officers down the road knowing they would probably need them.

Amanda thought she was dreaming for a second when she heard a dog bark that sounded like hers. _'I must be delusional if I think I hear my own dog.'_ She thought as she looks back to Olivia's room watching as Lewis starts to cut her clothes up. Then it dawned on her she might not be crazy as she watches the expression change on his face after the second bark. Easing off the bed Lewis looks out the window. Seeing nothing he begins to think he is imagining it. He walks to the front of the house to check it out to be sure. Olivia looks to Amanda with a questioning look. Amanda fights to stay conscious as she tries to tell Olivia they might be rescued.

"I think Frannie's out there." She mumbles before she passes out once again.

Olivia barely made out the words from reading her lips before Amanda was once again unconscious. Olivia made one last attempt to fight with the ropes hoping to break free to care for Amanda, but it was useless. She only hoped the blonde was right and maybe they could get out of there alive. Wincing from her own pain she knew she had at least one broken rib along with the burns, bruises and minor cuts. All she could do was pray that help would arrive before either of them was gone forever.

Seeing nothing from where he was, Lewis heads back to the brunette intent on finishing what he had started. Taking the same knife he used earlier he continued slicing through Olivia's shirt. He smiled when he saw the bruise and welt from the belt he had used earlier. After finishing removing the shirt he started working on cutting the jeans off. He stopped mid way when he glanced up seeing a dog outside the window. Listening carefully he heard the rustling of the bushes knowing there was someone else out there. Lewis landed a hard blow to Olivia's head knocking her out before getting up to grab the rifle he had found in one of the closets. Thinking it may just be a hunter he could easily scare him off. The dog looked somewhat familiar to him but he shrugged it off blaming it on being a little paranoid.

Fin had gone around back of the building with Frannie looking for a side entrance or back door to breech the cabin. He saw the movement inside so he carefully snuck up to the window. Looking inside he saw his sergeant tied up unconscious on the bed. What he didn't see was his partner causing him to fear she was already dead. Hearing the lock on the front door click, Nick dove into the bushes next to the porch leaving his Captain in full view to whoever came out that door. Thinking quickly Cragen thought up a plan hoping it'd work when he saw Fin coming around the other side. He motioned for him to stay hidden.

"What are you doing on my property?" Lewis half yelled pointing the gun through the cracked door.

"I'm looking for my dog. We were camping and she wandered off. I didn't mean to trespass." Cragen responded as calmly as he could.

"I haven't seen no dog. Now leave!" He shouted unable to see the two detectives inching their way to the door.

Cragen nodded making his way back up the drive. Before Lewis could pull the rifle back into the house, Fin kicked it out of his hand. Lewis attempted to slam the door but Nick was faster using his foot as a door stop. Running through the house, he grabbed the gun off the counter he took from Olivia and took up residence in the bathroom hoping to get out of the window before they could get him. Frannie pushed past both detectives bolting into the house right on his heels. She bit into his ankle just as he got to the bathroom. Unfortunately for her he was able to shake her off shutting the door on her.

"He's holed up in the bathroom!" Fin shouted coming to a stop by Frannie who was growling loudly at the door.

"We got bigger problems. We need a bus now!" Nick responded as he stood over Amanda's lifeless bloody body trying to unlock the cuffs.

Cragen stood in the doorway looking back and forth at his two detectives silently praying both would be fine. He'd already called for backup and untied Olivia. He could do nothing but watch as Nick tried his best to wake Amanda. Shattering glass told them things had gotten worse. Both detectives were ordered to go try and catch him as there was nothing more they could do until EMTs arrived. Looking back over his shoulder, Cragen saw Olivia starting to stir. He told her to stay still, that help was on the way. Instead she fought him tooth and nail wanting to get to her girlfriend even though she was pretty out of it herself. Sighing he finally agreed helping her over to Amanda.

"Oh Manda, I'm so sorry. This is my fault." She whispered stroking her blonde hair while fighting back tears.

Olivia felt herself starting to get dizzy so she carefully lay down next to her girlfriend holding her hand. She didn't care she was on sheets soaked with blood, she just wanted Amanda to be okay. Frannie had taken up residence on the other side as close to Amanda as she could get. Cragen stayed against the wall as his own tears started to fall. Hearing the gun shots firing outside, he silently hoped one of them killed Lewis for everything he had done, especially to two of his own. He was brought back to reality when EMTs burst through the door rushing to the two lifeless women. One of the paramedics glanced over to the Captain hoping for answers as to what happened, feeling his heart sink in his chest with the unspoken answer given. Everything was just a blur for him after that only hearing bits and pieces of what the medics were saying.

"Sir, we can't take the dog with us, but she's not budging. It's important to leave immediately as she's lost so much blood." One of them said still standing in the doorway looking at the blonde.

"I got her." Cragen responded lifting the dog off Amanda's stretcher with her fighting all the way.

After they exited the door, he walked out with Frannie standing on the porch looking over the driveway now covered with police cars.

"We lost him Cap. Uni's are still searching." Fin said disappointed as he came around the building with a limping Amaro.

"What's wrong with you?" Cragen questioned Nick.

"I busted my ankle. It's nothing serious though I'm sure." Nick answered still mad he caused them to lose their fugitive.

"Let's get that checked and while we're there we'll get an update on Rollins and Benson." He muttered shaking his head.

Walking into the emergency room entrance they were stopped immediately by a nurse saying the dog was not allowed in the hospital. Cragen lied saying she was his service dog but he'd forgotten the paper work as he was in a rush to see his girls. She glanced at the tired looking man with a sympathetic smile choosing to allow the dog to stay. Writing down the names of the two women she headed back to see if she could get an update. Amaro sat down next to the Captain with the ice pack he was given while Fin just continued to walk the floor. The minutes just slowly ticked by making two hours seem like ten.

"Is anyone here for Olivia Benson?" A different nurse asked walking towards the waiting room. They all stood up making their way over with Frannie in tow.

"How is she?" Nick questioned quietly.

"She had it rough wherever she was. There are two broken ribs, one which came close to puncturing her lung. Also, she has a serious concussion which may cause her to suffer some memory loss. One of the lacerations did need stitches. Other than that it's just bad bruises and some cuts." The nurse explained.

"What about Amanda? Is she okay?" Fin panicked looking at the nurse with a worried stare.

"She's still being worked on. I'll let you know when I get more information. In the meantime you may go back and see Olivia." She responded ushering them back to see her.

Olivia was still out when they walked in which was something Fin was grateful for. He wasn't sure if he could look her in the eyes just yet. They all sat in silence watching the brunette just happy she was alive even though she had a long road ahead of her.

Olivia slowly opened her eyes feeling a warm body beside her. For a minute she thought it was Amanda before frowning as she remembered the blonde with so much blood around her. Reaching down she patted the dog on the head before looking up to see her team sitting around her bed. Attempting to sit up, she let out a small gasp at the pain shooting through her rib cage. Everyone's eyes turned to her as Nick jumped up to help adjust the bed to give her more comfort. Seeing how everyone was avoiding the silent question, Olivia decided she would ask it. Silently she cursed herself for asking after looking at all the sad faces in the room at the mention of the blonde's name.

"They don't know anything yet. We'll be the first to know when they have information." Fin responded in a defeated voice. He hated he couldn't protect the best partner he ever had.

"How are you?" Nick asked concerned.

"I'd be a lot better if I knew Amanda was going to be okay." She snapped which gave her a raging headache from the noise.

She wrapped her arms around Frannie, holding on to the one thing she had of her girlfriend. He grip loosened when she finally gave in to her body telling her to rest. Olivia fell back into a deep sleep. Cragen sent the two men out before pushing the dog off the bed following them. They once again took up residence in the waiting room hoping for answers on Amanda's condition.

Nick got up and wandered back towards his partner's room. Watching her through the window he couldn't help but think things could have been different if he paid a little more attention to details. His thoughts were interrupted when two nurses rushed past him into her room. It was then he heard one of the machines beeping loudly. A doctor was paged and Olivia was taken into surgery. Fear settled deep in his chest as his mind raced on what could have happened. Sprinting back to his Captain and Fin he slid to a stop as he noticed the tear stains on the other detectives face. Not knowing what was going on with Amanda he wondered if they were going to lose both women because of that beast.

"We just got news on Rollins. She lost so much blood some of her organs started shutting down. It's touch and go as of this moment. Right now she's alive, but the next 24 hours will be critical. If she makes it through, she'll hopefully recover." Cragen told him.

"Why were you running to get to us? Does Liv want us back?" Fin asked trying to hide his own sadness and fear.

"No, I went to her room. They took her back for surgery. I'm not sure why though." Nick answered quietly.

"I want this son of a bitch caught yesterday." Cragen growled at his two detectives. "Can you guys keep a solid head on your shoulders and help find him?

Both nodded as they ran out the door to aid the search in finding Lewis. Unsure of what to do, he looked at the dog deciding it'd be best to head back to the office to be of some help. He left his number with the nurse at the desk telling her to call with any new information on either woman before leaving the hospital himself.

"Don't worry Frannie. I'm sure your moms will be okay." He whispered with a forced smile. He just prayed he was right.


	10. Chapter 10

"Don't worry Frannie. I'm sure your moms will be okay." He whispered with a forced smile. He just prayed he was right.

Three hours had passed since Cragen had been back at the office. There was no word on how close they were to Lewis, even with calls to pharmacies and hospitals for treatment for dog bites. The phone finally rang, hoping for good news he quickly answered. A small smile crept across his face at the news he got from the nurse. Calling Fin, he relayed the message to him about Olivia's surgery. Fin explained how they'd hit another dead end, but promised they would catch him one way or another.

"Liv's gonna be fine." Fin says glancing at Nick. "They just had to remove some fluid around her lung where that rib almost pierced it. She's still got a ways to go but should recover."

"That's good." Nick agreed. "Now let's catch this guy before anything else happens."

Waking up Olivia glances around the room. Taking in the white walls and the extremely clean smelling area she realizes it wasn't just a bad dream. Still a little dazed from the anesthetic she tries to focus on what had happened to her. Olivia's mind quickly wanders to Amanda though. Not knowing how the blonde was doing or if she was even alive terrified her. Finding the call button for the nurse she repeatedly pushed it until one came running in. Practically growling at the cheerful tone in the woman's voice she finally spoke.

"Is there any news on Amanda Rollins? She was brought in with me. No one has said anything."

"I'll check for you. Try and stay calm. Getting worked up will do you no good causing you to stay longer." The nurse answered walking out.

"I should knock that cheerful look right off your face." Olivia mumbled once the nurse was out of hearing range. Every minute that went by irritated her even more. If it wasn't for the dull pain throughout her body, she'd hunt down Amanda herself. As she was about to push the call button once more to find out what was taking so long, the nurse walked back in.

"I can't give you much but she is in ICU right now. She lost a lot of blood and right now she's still unconscious. They're hopeful she'll wake up tomorrow sometime. Of course her vitals are extremely low still which is slowing down the process of her waking up." The nurse explained to her.

"And if she doesn't wake up tomorrow?" Olivia questioned.

"Then her chances of surviving are very low. Right now it seems she has no fight left in her."

"Can she at least hear what's going on around her?" The nurse nodded at the question then Olivia continued. "Frannie…. Let her see her dog, even if it's just for ten minutes. I know it will help her." She pleaded with the nurse knowing she was unable to go herself.

"I'll see what I can do. You get some rest yourself detective." The nurse reminded her.

Lying in the dim lit room Olivia turned her thoughts back to Amanda. Knowing growing up had been really rough on her from what she'd voluntarily told her. All Amanda really had in terms of family was her, the dog and the team. Olivia wondered if Amanda wasn't fighting because she didn't think there was anything worth coming back too. Reaching over to the table by her bed she grabbed her phone. She sent a quick text to Fin asking him to come by as soon as he could. She let out a small groan as the movement caused some pain. She only hoped her plan would make Amanda fight harder to come back to them.

Getting the call from the nurse, Cragen quickly got Frannie from the cribs to head to the hospital. Maybe something familiar in Amanda's room would help with getting her to wake up. Also, while he was there he looked forward to checking in on his other detective. Thinking only good things he put the car in drive pulling out of the parking garage.

Fin was starting to get a sore neck from shaking his head so much at Olivia's idea. There was no way the nurses would allow it let alone the doctor. Of course when he saw that stubborn look cross her face he bowed his head in defeat silently cursing himself for having no backbone when it came to her or Amanda for that matter. Being as careful as he could, he helped Olivia sit up on the edge of the bed. Walking across the room to retrieve the wheel chair he came back to help her get settled.

"You ready?" He questioned hesitantly thinking he was going to get kicked out for this.

She nodded before telling him which way to go. It took a little maneuvering to avoid the nurses responsible for her at that time. He figured it would be easier to fend them off after getting to the blonde's room instead of the hallways. '_I'm gonna be in so much trouble for this'_ Fin thought as he stopped in front of Amanda's room. Carefully opening the door they both gasped as they looked at Amanda's lifeless, pale body. After wheeling Olivia over to her, he took a couple steps back giving her a couple more minutes before he asked questions. Grasping Amanda's hand she gave it a quick squeeze while whispering in her ear that she needed to get better, too many people cared about her for her to just give up.

"Fin, can you come here for a minute?" Olivia barely spoke above a whisper.

"What's up?"

"I know I shouldn't do this and I'll probably be in a lot of pain later, but I need you to help me. I want to lay beside her." Olivia answered looking up into concerned brown eyes.

"Are you sure that's a good idea Liv?" The worry in Fin's voice let her know he wasn't sure.

"I need to do this." She whispered pleading with her eyes.

Letting out a loud sigh he decided to help her with her mission. There was no way she would back down anyway. Olivia and Amanda were both so stubborn they almost always got their way regardless of the situation. _'Man, I hate being whipped by the only two females in our squad'_ he silently said to himself before lifting Olivia up to help her get situated in Amanda's bed. Squeezing her arm seeing the silent thank you in her eyes he turned on his heel heading out the door. Not sure of what to do now, he went looking for coffee running right into his Captain. The look of panic on Fin's face didn't go unnoticed by Cragen who questioned him on what he was doing and why he looked like a deer in the headlights. Quickly explaining how Olivia talked him into breaking her out to see Amanda he waited for the ass chewing he was going to get for doing so. To his surprise, there was no lecture just a nod as they both looked into the room seeing Olivia doing the best she could to curl against her girlfriend. Frannie's tail started wagging slowly as she watched her owner sleep through the glass.

Finally getting herself comfortable with the pain being tolerable she started to relax against Amanda. Pressing a small kiss to her cheek, she sent up a silent prayer for things to turn out okay. She never even noticed she had three sets of eyes on her.

"Manda, I know you can hear me. Please wake up. I need you to fight rather it's for me or your baby. You know as well as I do Frannie won't last long without you. You aren't alone anymore. I'm here, and I'll always be here for you. Even the Captain, Fin and Nick see you as family and want you back. If you want complete honesty, I don't even know if I could handle it if you were gone. I love you with all my heart. I'm not ready to lose you. I want forever with you. Everything we've talked about we'll have if you'll just come back to me. You're not alone anymore baby." Olivia tried hard not to cry as she finished her one sided talk with the love of her life. "Please, wake up." Was her last request before she finally let the tears fall.

Seeing Olivia's shaking shoulders but not able to hear what was said, the two men outside feared the worst. Had Amanda been taken from them? Fin chose to go find some coffee and contact Nick while Cragen took Frannie in to see her 'mama.' Slightly startled by the noise Olivia's attention quickly went to the door smiling softly as she seen the dog with her Captain.

"Don't talk. You need to rest in order to get better. I'm not going to lecture you, but this probably wasn't a great move on your end Liv." Cragen spoke softly releasing the leash in his hands.

She nodded in agreement to his words. They both watched as the dog carefully made her way onto the foot of the bed giving Amanda a kiss on her hand before stretching across both of their legs. Before falling asleep a small smile crossed Olivia's lips as her new family was all in one spot even if it was just for a little while. Cragen snuck out of the room leaving the three sleeping peacefully hoping to find Fin with possible information on Lewis. In his mind he could care less if they killed him, but knowing IAB's grudge against SVU it would end badly for his team which was already two detectives short at the moment.

He didn't have to go far since the other two were coming down the hallway, the looks on their faces telling the story of not finding Lewis. Nick told the Captain everything he knew on the situation from not finding him to the fact he'd left the city or was extremely well hidden. The neighboring cities were contacted as well to keep eyes out for Lewis. Nick had to do a double take when he glanced into Amanda's room.

"Am I missing something here?" He asked looking from Cragen to Fin.

"Apparently you are the last to know those two are dating." Fin answered him with a chuckle. "It's almost been a year."

At that comment the Captain himself became confused, he'd only learned about it a couple weeks ago. He had thought it was something that recently started. Seeing the look on both of their faces Fin continued to explain.

"Before the whole initial Lewis thing started they were seeing each other. Why do you think Amanda got so worked up from not finding her right away? I mean we were all upset but she took it the hardest. Two days after her rescue, Liv moved in with Amanda."

"I thought it was because she blamed herself for arresting him, that is was her fault that caused it to happen." Nick spoke out.

"It's part of it." Fin then went on telling how the only reason he knew all that was because he pretty much stalked Olivia shortly after the ordeal. One night he drove by seeing Amanda loading up a few boxes into her truck from the apartment. Following back to hers he saw that they were moving things into the blonde's apartment. Until one night he just up and questioned them, both denying anything going on, but their eyes betrayed their answers. Fin apologized for not saying anything he just didn't feel it was his place. After the initial shock wore off from this new information, they all agreed for food in the cafeteria.

Walking into Amanda's room, the nurse was kind of shocked with what she'd seen. Their missing patient was sleeping in the bed with another. She knew the dog would be there. They had all thought she just snuck out with the other detective without checking out. Not wanting to disturb the sleeping bodies, she quickly checked the vital signs before heading back out with a smile of her own on her face. Amanda's vital signs had improved a little bit in the last two hours. Obviously having the dog and the brunette there was helping her. She wasn't sure exactly what was happening, but she wasn't going to complain either.

Olivia was startled awake from a nightmare. One she thought was long gone, but recent events caused them to return. At first she had no idea where she was until she looked over seeing her beautiful blonde. Reaching for her hand, Olivia noticed her temperature had risen a bit. Amanda wasn't as cold as she'd been earlier when she first crawled into the bed. Thinking about it she came to the conclusion Amanda had heard every word she had spoken earlier.

"Remember when you asked me a week ago what I wanted for our one year and I told you I didn't know? Well, I finally have an answer for you. It will be one year tomorrow. What I want is for you to wake up so we can spend the rest of our lives together. That's all I want more than anything. I love you Amanda." Olivia whispered hoping it would help even more.

Not even two minutes after speaking those words, she swore Amanda made an attempt to squeeze her hand. '_Could it be the pain meds and my exhaustion? Or did she really just try and grasp my hand?'_ Olivia thought still watching their joined hands. Her weak body was definitely toying with her mental state but there was no doubt in her mind that she had got through to Amanda.

"Manda, we still have a lot to do. We're going to have that house and family we've talked about. Your blood family may have abandoned you, but your family here in New York wants you to fight to get better. I love you so much."

With those last words, she let the tiredness take over falling into a deep sleep with new hope Amanda would recover.

Working their way back to ICU the three men were stopped at the doors. The nurse telling them they could visit tomorrow. Starting to ask about Frannie, Cragen was cut off saying the dog could stay. She then went over the latest report with them and how Amanda's vitals were improving since the other two were in the room with her. Accepting the nurse's request they left hoping tomorrow Amanda would be awake and ready for visitors.


	11. Chapter 11

**Not gonna lie, this is probably not my best chapter but I hope you like it anyway. Also, if there's anything you want added or to see feel free to let me know. **

* * *

Accepting the nurse's request they left hoping tomorrow Amanda would be awake and ready for visitors.

Waking up slowly, Olivia couldn't figure out why she wasn't right against Amanda like she'd been when she fell asleep. Their hands were still joined, but they weren't touching. It dawned on her that sometime in the middle of the night; they must have brought in a second bed. Somehow she had slept through it. Frannie seemed to like the new arrangement as she was able to stretch out more. It didn't really bother her that she never woke up when they transferred her to the other bed. Olivia was a little annoyed they had to put an IV back into her arm. Feeling a squeeze on her hand Olivia looked over to see Amanda starting to stir. She couldn't help but smile when blue eyes looked over at her.

Amanda was very confused when she looked around the room. Her dog and Olivia were there, but she was not at home. Finally realizing she was in a hospital, she let out a low groan. This was the last place she wanted to be. Amanda started tugging on one of the wires sticking on her before being jumping at Olivia's warning tone.

"Hey… Didn't know you were awake." Amanda mumbled still not completely lucid.

"I'm just glad you are. You've been out for over 30 hours." Olivia responded.

"Oh. We survived so that's a good thing I guess. Are you okay though? I mean nothing life threatening?" Amanda quickly became concerned remembering how she passed out on her.

'I'm fine. It's you we were all worried about. You're organs started shutting down. Technically you died on the way here, you're heart stopped." Olivia answered softly.

Not knowing how to respond to that, Amanda bit her lip thinking of how close she came to dying. What made matters worse was looking over her girlfriend seeing how broken she was. Looking down at Frannie, she had to smile though. The dog's big brown eyes staring up at her with the tail going like crazy was something she never got tired of seeing. Scratching her head for a few minutes got Amanda a nice sloppy kiss.

Olivia could see the wheel spinning in Amanda's head knowing she was contemplating on something. Not even trying to figure it out she just came right out and asked. Shaking her head at Olivia's question she just smiled while working on moving over in the least painful way. All she could do was watch nervously as Amanda worked on getting closer to her. After a bit, she just gave up. She made progress but not as close as she'd like to be. Seeing the frown Olivia closed the rest of the distance between them allowing her to be able to rest her head against her shoulder.

"For what little bit I wasn't passed out, I was so afraid for you. Hearing your screams and the noises from what he was doing made me cringe. I was so mad at myself for not being able to protect you. I thought I was going to lose you for awhile. If it came down to it, I would have begged him to kill me and not you." Amanda whispered.

"Don't even think like that. I'm alive and so are you. We made it. Yes, we are a little worse for wear but we are here. Now all we have to do is get better and back to our normal lives. We'll be okay." Olivia quietly responded beginning to wonder if all would be fine in the end. Would their lives ever be normal again?

They sat there in silence for about an hour just holding onto each other the best they could with their aching bodies. The nurse came in for Amanda's vitals surprised that she was semi-conscious. Checking off on both their vital signs she picked up Frannie's leash leading her out. She let them both know the dog could come back and visit for short times until released, Frannie just couldn't be there permanently anymore. Silently agreeing Amanda gave her fur baby one last kiss before saying good bye. Amanda knew it wouldn't be the last time she saw her dog but it was still hard to watch her go. Sensing Amanda's quick change in mood, Olivia did her best to keep her from crumbling.

Not being one to ever own an animal, the connection confused her in some ways. She knew most people thought of pets as their children which was easy to understand. Being around Frannie made Olivia realize the dog had something special about her. Somehow looking into those big brown eyes managed to make her feel like she could do no wrong. Wanting to know more about Amanda's life before New York and Frannie, Olivia decided to finally ask her flat out. At least this time Amanda couldn't run away from the questions.

"Manda, I know you've been avoiding telling me about your home life for whatever reasons..." She started as she got Amanda's full attention. "But I've told you all there is to know about me and regardless of where or what you came from it won't change things. I'm in this for the long haul, I promise." She finished while locking her brown eyes with clouded blue.

Amanda nodded while debating on telling Olivia just what kind of life she had or smoothing it over as she went along. Starting from the beginning she began to tell her story. She explained how everything was okay until her sister Kim came along when she was four. As Kim got older, things started spiraling out of everyone's control. It was too much for her parents to handle when test came back saying she had a mental illness. Their dad turned to gambling while their mom turned to drugs/alcohol. Her choice depended on the money she had available at the time of purchase. She went on to say she grew up at the age of eight taking care of her sister. They literally became the punching bags when things didn't go right. Between dad hitting mom and the broken bones/injuries they sustained with him, they were constantly in and out of the hospital at least four or more times a month. Pulling the gown off her shoulder a bit she showed Olivia the stab wound on her shoulder blade where her dad had thrown a knife at her for interfering with an argument between him and her mom. The blame always coming back on her and Kim which is why child services never got too involved. The she continued with how she always bailed her sister out of everything. It made it so much harder when she took everything Amanda owned. She gave everything she could to help her sister especially when off her meds just to be stabbed in the back. Now it was Amanda's turn to break down.

"Now you see why it's so hard for me to trust anyone but Frannie?" Amanda mumbled between sobs.

Listening to everything Amanda said, Olivia's heart broke even more for her girlfriend. It actually helped her understand Amanda a little more and why she was so closed off. Growing up afraid of saying anything to defend herself, constantly being put down on top of raising Kim made Olivia realize the things she said were never once heard by her girlfriend.

* * *

Hearing everything said in the other room, Fin stood outside the door almost in tears himself. He knew there was something that kept her closed off from personal conversations, but he never expected that. Debating on going in or giving them some time Fin backed away from the door. Now he knew why Amanda distanced herself most of the time. Finally getting the nerve he knocked lightly on the door before entering.

"How are my two favorite girls?" he asked sitting down at the foot of the bed. Both smiled but nothing was said.

"Just so you know Liv, I got my ass chewed out by two nurses and the captain for what I did." Fin said with a smile.

Amanda shot Olivia a confused look

"I had Fin break me out of my room. Without Fin's help, I wouldn't have been able to be here with you."

"I'm glad you are here." Amanda said with a sincere tone.

Fin finally made himself comfortable since the tension had eased off. His unusual quietness put questions in Amanda's head though. He was never this quiet, especially when it came to down time or an ER visit for one of their own. She decided to see just how close her conclusion was by asking him how much he heard before walking in. Of course he denied hearing anything until she pointed out she could tell when he lied to her. Admitting to knowing it all, Fin slumped back in his chair.

"Neither one of you better treat me any different than you have or I'll turn in my shield, take Frannie and leave New York." Amanda stated making it perfectly clear she would do it. Getting an agreement from both she relaxed a bit.

"Your secret is safe with me. We're family now. Not the most conventional one, but still…" Fin added in.

"Right… So, let me get this straight. That would mean Cragen is the father, Olivia is my girlfriend. You're the older brother who looks out for and protects us with an odd sense of humor. And Nick is just the annoying little brother we wanna strangle sometimes? Is that how I am supposed to understand it?"

Olivia couldn't help but laugh at Amanda's analogy of their little 'family' although it was pretty accurate, except the girlfriend part which she was going to change soon. She had to reassure Fin three more times that she was doing just fine other than some pain every now and then. As Amanda's breathing evened out she knew the blonde had fallen asleep. Recruiting Fin to help her out once more Olivia started throwing her plan out to him. Getting up to leave and set things in motion he said a quiet good bye. He thought things might be looking up before frowning at the memory Lewis was still out there.

Shortly after Fin's departure the nurse returned with a doctor. She explained it was time for Olivia to return to her room as both women needed their rest. Also, adding that having two patients sharing a room was not something they allowed. Amanda couldn't help but laugh a little as she heard Olivia giving the nurse what for all the way down the hall. The doctor told her that all was starting to look good. Her blood count was starting to go up, her vitals were almost normal and the bruises and burns would heal in time. As for her stab wound, that was going to take some time. He was very concerned with it. Amanda felt like screaming when she found out she was stuck in ICU for another day than at least 3 more in the other part of the hospital. This was not her form of good news. _'I wonder when Olivia is gonna get to go home.'_ She thought staring at the blank walls.

Extremely annoyed she was taken back to her room, Olivia sat with her arms crossed ready to just walk out. If it wasn't for her aching body she would probably do just that. Grumbling quietly to herself she never heard the door open and her partner staring at her in confusion. Once she noticed Nick was there she settled down a bit but continued glaring. "Maybe I should come back." Nick offered about to leave. Olivia shook her head motioning for him to sit down.

"It's not you I'm just tired of being here." She sighed looking out the window.

Nick nodded his agreement before trying to lighten the mood by talking about his daughter Zara and all the mischief she'd been getting into. He was happy he got a few laughs out of her. It was nice to see Olivia actually smile again. A voice in the back of his mind was telling him to let her know Lewis was still out there under the radar, but he didn't have it in him to be bearer of bad news. Unfortunately his visit was cut short due to a case which left Olivia to herself and unwanted thoughts. She still had an uneasy feeling but couldn't place what it was. All she could really remember was what she saw before Lewis knocked her out that last time. There was no memory of being rescued only the fear she felt when she woke up and learned Amanda's heart had stopped in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.

Amanda was in about the same mood as Olivia. She wanted to go home to be with Frannie. She thought whatever they could do for her here she could do at home. The nurse was really getting on her nerves fro constantly stopping in to check on her. Did they really think she'd try and leave?

"What do you want now?!" She yelled when her door opened once again.

"Bad day?" Fin joked as he took a seat next to her bed. She mumbled a sorry. "No worries. I just stopped back by to see how you were before I went back to work. Oh and why didn't you tell me you had a brother?"

Amanda got a blank look on her face before giving him a questioning look. She had no idea what he was talking about.

"This note. The nurse said your brother dropped it off and since I was coming here I could give it to you." He said handing her the folded paper.

Opening it slowly she began to read it. What she read made her face go completely white as a ghost causing Fin to jump into protection mode. He watched as she made a ball of it and threw it across the room. Now he was the one confused.

"I gotta get outta here." Amanda panicked trying to pull everything loose to get up.

Fin did his best to keep her in the bed without calling the nurse or hurting her. Trying everything he could think of he finally just went with it. He told her to calm down, he would help her but he had to see the note first. Amanda agreed settling back down in the bed as he fetched the note from the corner. Reading over it, he couldn't help but feel a jolt of anger go through him. After his anger settled a bit he started feeling guilty. This was his fault for not catching him. On top of that he now had to lie to his partner. _'Will any of this turn out for the better?'_ He questioned himself before turning to Amanda. Saying he'd be back later and they'd work on getting her out he bolted for the door. Sighing loudly to herself in that quiet room Amanda thought about how she could fix this herself.

Dropping the ring off with Olivia that she had sent him after, he quickly left the hospital. He was beating himself up for lying to both his colleagues. Right now top priority was getting the note to forensics in hopes that whoever left it at the desk had DNA in the system and would know where to find Lewis.

Bumping into the Captain on his way back to the squad room he had to explain his obvious worried state. The note saying he would be back for both women when they least expected it. After listening to everything Fin said, he told him to pass the current case to another team, grab Amaro and get back to work on Lewis. Cragen was going to be camped out at the hospital until further notice. Arriving at the hospital he quickly got his clearance to see Amanda and headed off towards her room. Stopping outside the door, he watched the scene playing out in front of him. It seemed Olivia and Amanda were having a serious talk. He couldn't help but let a smile cross his face when he saw Olivia bring that small box out of her robe pocket.

"Manda, you've made my life the happiest it has ever been. I'm not sure where I would be right now if it wasn't for you and your love. I was hoping our one year anniversary would be somewhere a lot better, but I don't want to wait any longer. Life is short so we make the most of it while we can. Amanda Rollins will you marry me?" Olivia asked with all the love she felt showing through her eyes.

Amanda stared blankly at her. She had no idea what to tell her. _'Why is Olivia asking me this now?'_ She thought replaying her speech in her head. It was one thing she'd always hoped would happen, wanting nothing more than to get married then have a family. Amanda didn't know how to explain what she was feeling. Olivia started to get worried after five minutes of waiting just watching her girlfriend's blank stare. Finally Amanda spoke but not what she wanted to hear.

"Liv, I love you more than life itself. You know that. But the answer is no." Amanda did her best to keep her tears at bay while watching Olivia's face turn to sadness.


End file.
